Trevor

Men and Stress

by Jessica on July 6, 2011

Men are really good at creating stress for us. Not so good at dealing with stress when it happens to them. Poor Trevor. Fire recruit school is really stressing him out. I have never seen him wound quite so tightly. He has looked forward to this career path for a long time, so naturally, once he got hired, I assumed he would calm down about it. Ha. Ha. Ha. He still refuses to acknowledge that he “has” the job. He reminds me often that if he doesn’t pass training, he will not be a firefighter. Even though he has been hired by the county and gets a paycheck from them, he will not say he works there. I guess he thinks he’ll jinx it.

Can I just say THANK YOU that his Firefighter I test is this Friday? If ever someone was in a panic over something, Trevor certainly is in one over this. Guys, I never realized how hard this stuff is. I think as average people, we look at firemen and think that they’re very brave individuals, and that it takes a special type of person to do that job. Well, let me tell you, it takes a lot more than just being “called” to be a fireman. It is HARD work! Not just physically, but mentally and emotionally. Physically, he has this down. No question. His instructors tend to ride him pretty hard in the workouts because they know he’s in great condition, but he really excels in that area. I was shocked when he brought his book home for the first time- it’s seriously two inches thick! It’s all about the chemistry and physics of fire, different types of fire, pump operation, etc. It’s complicated stuff- no wonder he’s been so stressed out. He’s been hitting the library a lot to study and is staying after class the rest of this week with his classmates, as well.

In addition to his book test, he has to be able to get into his gear in one minute’s time. When he told me he was worried about that, I kind of brushed it off, I mean how hard can it be to get dressed? Yeah, about that- once he started to explain all the gear they actually have to put on, the order it needs to be added on, I understand that stress, too! There is a massive amount of stuff that has to be worn. Luckily, he’s gotten down to in a minute in practice, so hopefully that won’t be a problem, either. He’s much more worried about the written test, especially because even the instructors don’t know what’s on it. The test comes to them in a sealed envelope and it can be on literally anything in their book. No pressure, right? It’s like the SATs of fire training.

Here’s the tricky part: how on Earth can I help him with his stress when he doesn’t seem to want to hear what I have to say? It’s my natural reaction when he talks about being nervous to tell him that it will be okay. I mean, isn’t that what we all do? Well, that really makes him mad! He says that makes him more nervous when people tell him he’ll do fine- that everyone expects him to do so well on this, he wants it so badly, and he is terrified of failing. That breaks my heart! I seriously have no idea what to do. He wants to vent to me about it, but basically, anything I say in response seems to be the wrong thing to say. He’s a little unreasonable right now, but he’s so anxious, I can’t really blame him, I guess.

Tension has been high around our house since he started training- he is on edge, and we argue a lot more than we normally do. It’s making life rough for both of us, but aside from just ignoring him when he snaps at me, I don’t know what to do! So here is my plea- how can I help him? Tell me, please, because I am at a loss. I want to be there for him, but I’m not quite sure how to actually help. Also, prayers for him to do well on his test Friday would be SO appreciated!

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Firemen are hot.

by Jessica on May 24, 2011

And I can say that without feeling any sort of guilt because my husband is about to be one!! Trevor GOT THE JOB with the fire department! We are absolutely thrilled. They randomly called him at 10 o’clock one night while we were on vacation. Trevor came inside from playing bocce ball on the beach to excitedly tell me all about it. He had to go find a Kinkos so he could print out his paperwork and fax it in to make things official. His training starts on June 13. The training program is 12 weeks long and runs Monday through Friday from 7:30am to 5pm. Once he’s finished with that, he’ll get a raise and get assigned to a fire station. His schedule will be 24 hours on and 48 hours off. This will work out wonderfully because Knox will be able to spend a few days a week with his Daddy so his mother can get some work accomplished!

I am so incredibly proud of my husband. This job journey has been a long one for him (like five years, long), and I am so, so thrilled to see him finally get where he wants to be long-term. It really felt like things were dragging along horribly slowly for him, and we just couldn’t figure out why. He’s such a hard working, dedicated person, but nothing ever seemed to pan out like it was supposed to into a long-term career. God obviously had bigger plans for Trevor than we understood, hence the waiting until this job came along.

I know he is looking so forward to starting this new chapter, and even though I will be, without a doubt, worrying about him a LOT more, now, I am looking forward to it, too.

Thank you for all the prayers you sent our way, we truly appreciate it!

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Without further ado… I give to you: my husband.

by Jessica on February 2, 2010

Hey it’s Trevor, Jessica’s Husband. She put me up to this. So here it goes.

nlvaden wants to know:

1. What were you thinking as Jess was pushing? Scared? Nervous? Grossed out?
I was actually anxious and very excited. After she got the epidural it was all downhill from there. Before the shot I was terrified.

2. Now that Knox is home, what is one thing that you were not expecting about being a new father?
Well, I pretty much was expecting all of the feelings I’ve had. I wasn’t expecting how obsessed I’d be with keeping his surroundings clean and safe. I love Clorox wipes and hand sanitizer.

3. What is your favorite thing about being a father thus far?
Reading my boy bedtime stories. I hate to read, but love reading to him. I don’t think I will ever miss a night.

4. What sort of changes have you noticed in Jessica since she has become a mother?
I haven’t really noticed a particular change in her. She still drives me absolutely crazy with her worrying about every little thing. But I have noticed once Knox entered this world our relationship felt so much stronger.

***Questions 5&6 are for you and Jessica***
5: Favorite baby product so far?
Trevor: Diapers. They keep a nice barrier between me and the pee and poop.

Jessica: I would have to say the breast pump has been the most necessary and useful thing. I highly recommend getting one if you’re breast feeding. I used one in the hospital before we came home, and I can’t imagine how awful it would have been if I hadn’t been able to use it to relieve engorgement. It would have been worth it just for that! Now, I have been using it to regulate and even out my supply. It’s awesome.

As far as other more directly-related-to-the-baby stuff, the Boppy is just as awesome as I anticipated. Great for feeding, tummy time, sitting in, etc.

6: Most useless baby product so far?

Trevor: I don’t get too much use out of the breast pump.

Jessica: Skinny burp cloths. Get the old skool cloth diapers to use at burp cloths. Knox is not a puker, but the five or so times he has spit up, it’s been projectile. Try landing that puke on a skinny little piece of fabric. Uh, no. I am mainly using the burp cloths at this point to catch the breast milk that shoots out of my boobs while I am getting Knox situated to eat. They’re all over the house.

I also have not used the nursing pillow (My Brest Friend), that’s not to say I wouldn’t, but the Boppy has worked great for the same job.

Lindsey wants to know:

1. How do you manage to put up with Cole [her husband/ my best friend that I work with] every single day?!
It’s a give and take relationship. He gives me crap, I give him crap, and then we find something funny and laugh about it. I love him like a brother.

2. When is our next game of Apples to Apples??
Now! Come over. Please. Haven’t played since last time we all played. Maybe this weekend after yall move in.

3. What is YOUR least favorite word? [Lindsey's is cream. I say it every time I see her... which is a lot.]
Well it used to be “poop”, but since Knox I have gotten used to it. So now, rich, thick, creamy cream. And the only reason that it’s my new least favorite word combination, is so that you will read it and think about it for the rest of the day.

Thusa wants to know:

1. Mr. JLT – When did you first know you wanted to propose to Mrs,JLT?
When all my friends started to propose to their girlfriends.

2. Did you pick the ring yourself?
Yes. I talked to the jeweler and had it custom-made. I was very picky and obsessive about my choice. I knew Jessica wanted a princess cut diamond. I learned all I could about clarity, cut, color and carats so I could make good choices. Currently, I am trying to convince Jessica to pawn it for a boat.

3. How many diapers have you changed since Knox has been home?
Ten or so. Only been peed on once. I guess you could say I have a 10:1 ratio.

4.What kind of work do you do?
I work for a non-profit organization dealing with donations.

5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would you live?
Alaska. It’s wilderness, secluded, there’s a bunch of animals, and I could wear a lot of flannel shirts. I could get one of those hats with the furry stuff in it, and I could wear boots all the time. Then, my wife couldn’t yell at for having too many boots. I would have an excuse to throw my car into 4 wheel drive more often. I also wouldn’t mind having a big bear for a pet. Oh, and there are moose. And for dinner I would eat salmon fresh out of the river in my backyard.

Angeline asked:

1. Is there anything in particular you might miss out on now that you have become a daddy?
Maybe the opportunity to take my MMA fighting to the next level. I don’t think I would do that with a wife and child depending on me.

2. Do you want to try for baby #2 right away or wait a few years?
Wait a few years. Maybe even a decade.

3. How has becoming a father changed you as a person and your life as a whole?
It’s made me a much better person. I strive to do well in everything I do so that I will be a great role model for him as he grows up. Everything I do is for him, now.

Casey asked:

1. Trey [her husband, me and Cole's friend] wants to know…when can we go camping?
Maybe sometime in March on the lake. Nowhere too far. If you want to go ahead and set it, we can go the second weekend in March.

Erin wonders:

1. From a male perspective, what is it like to deal with infertility issues?
Honestly, I was initially overwhelmed and nervous about having to spend that much money on it. The whole time, I had the feeling it would happen naturally, even though we were told it wouldn’t. I had a lot of faith in God. That is why Knox is a true blessing.

2. How did you feel when your wish for a baby finally came true?
Unbelievably excited. Like all 26 Christmases I’ve ever had put into one.

3. How do you feel about more babies in the future? (I know it may be too soon to ask)
Babies? Yes. Jessica’s worrying? No.

4. What emotions did you have when you first saw your sons face and then realized he looks just like you?
When I first saw him, I couldn’t help but cry with excitement. It’s cool that he looks like me, but that wasn’t really a big concern for me.

Rebecca wants to know:

1. what advice would you give other expectant dads in the final days of their wives’ pregnancies?
Sleep now.

2. what was going through your mind while JLT was in labor?
That is was finally about to happen. It was hard to see Jessica in pain before she got the epidural.

3. what was the first thought that entered your mind when you first saw Knox?
I’m a father.

Hope wonders:

1. Any advice for a new father for the first few weeks at home?
Sleep when you can. Be there for your wife, encourage her. Try to keep her mind focused on positives and not negatives.

2. Anything you wish you would have known before the birth?
I like surprises.

But really, when you’re checking out your son on the scale, don’t turn around because you’ll see a river of blood pouring out of your wife’s vagina.

3. What has surprised you most over the past few months?
The past two weeks, I’ve been surprised at how much Knox poops. During pregnancy, I was surprised at how much Jessica peed.

Brandy questioned:

1. What is your favorite thing about Knox’s room?
The surfboards everywhere. I love the surfing theme.

2. Have you had to carry a diaper bag and purse at the same time yet?
Yep. In the hospital. I didn’t mind. I also had to buy hemorrhoid pads at Target. That sucked.

3. Who do you think will win the Superbowl?
Da Bears!!

jCam asked:

1. What do you honestly think about Jess blogging?
It’s a little too time consuming. Takes away from her dinner preparation time.

Really, I honestly don’t care because I don’t look at her blog.

2. Has your opinion changed from when she first started blogging to now? I know my husband gave me the side-eye at first!
I guess. Now that I realize what she’s actually doing and talking about it’s not so bad.

That was my first and last blogging experience. Hope you liked it.