by Jessica on February 17, 2010
This whole apnea thing is scaring the mess out of me. I seriously get up dozens of times each night to make sure he’s breathing. I feel like all I do is watch his chest to ensure it’s still rising and falling. He has stopped breathing much more today, and I finally couldn’t take it anymore and called the doctor’s office again. I talked to a nurse and asked if it was possible to get a monitor or something for peace of mind. She said she’d get back to me. Dr. T called me back and said that after all we have been through with Knox and his NICU stay and heart issues, it was totally understandable that I was stressed out about this. He called in an order for an apnea monitor, and the pharmacy is delivering it tonight and teaching us to use it. Hopefully, he’ll only have to be on it for a couple of weeks, and we will be able to see a decline in these episodes.
I am so emotionally worn out. I love this boy with every fiber of my being- it’s impossible to put into words. I look at him and I literally hurt because I love him so much. Sometimes I sit and look at him and just cry because I feel so much for him. When your child experiences issues like this, no matter how “normal” they may be, it’s enough to terrify you. Each time I get up at night to feed him, I thank God that he’s still alive. That’s how scared I’ve been about this. I am petrified that I will wake up and he’ll be blue and not breathing. I am so, so thankful we’re getting this monitor!
Despite all of this breathing stuff, he doesn’t seem to be too bothered.
We started with cloth diapers today, and so far, I am hating these Kissaluv fitteds! I am really shocked because I was so pumped to start them. Knox is very even-tempered, and when he started screaming earlier, I couldn’t figure out why. Then I realized it was because he was soaked. The cover keeps the pee contained, but the whole fitted diaper was drenched and Knox did NOT like having all that pee touching him! It’s not like he sat in it for a long time, I had just changed him into it. I think the pocket diapers will be much better, but they are massive on him. Hopefully these will grow on me because I paid $230 to rent them and will only get a $120 store credit when they’re returned, so sending them back isn’t an option!
*Make sure to check back tomorrow for an awesome giveaway!!*
by Jessica on December 16, 2009
Warning: This is going to be ridiculously long. If you have mega staying power, go forth and read.
They’re back. The Braxton Hicks contractions from Hades. Not that they were ever really gone, but let’s just say they’re back in full force with a venegeance. I started to notice them getting more frequently yesterday. After a couple of hours with the contractions getting increasingly closer together (we’re talking every five minutes or so), I took a Brethine/ Terbutaline pill. I haven’t taken one at all since my doctor told me it was unnecessary since my cervix wasn’t changing, but I thought having so many warranted this particular course of action. It seemed to work to slow them down, so I just chugged a bunch of water and hoped they’d stop. Later that night, I ended up taking another pill because they came back.
Tuesday morning, I wasn’t having any, but by the afternoon, they were every few minutes and lasting for a long time, probably three to five minutes each. The prolonged nature of these contractions is what had me freaked out. I obviously took another pill and put a call into my doctor’s office to get their advice. This was around 4:00. The receptionist took a message for the nurse on call, saying “everyone is really busy right now.” Uhm, okay. She didn’t even ask what was wrong, which I thought was insane. By the time 5:30 rolled around, I was royally pissed off that I had not gotten a return phone call and borderline hysterically crying because I was just so worried about these contractions. I called the on-call doctor and ended up talking to a nurse that didn’t seem overly bright and failed to reassure me at all.
Around 6, I got a phone call from the doctor’s office. Apparently, the skank receptionist didn’t give the nurse the message until they were about to close, and I could tell this nurse was NOT happy about that. She asked who took the message, and luckily I remembered. I told her she didn’t even ask what was wrong with me, and the nurse said this message should have been given to her immediately. I felt somewhat vindicated.
She told me that I should definitely take the Brethine in this situation, which I figured. I was worried about Knox being affected by all these frequent, long contractions and she said he would be fine as long as it wasn’t hours and hours of back to back contractions. I felt like it was hours and hours of contractions, so I still worry about that. She did say if my cervix is not being affected by the contractions, then they’re probably not strong enough to affect him, either. She said I may need to come in and get checked more often (apparently I am moving into the doctor’s office since I am there weekly as it is) because we don’t want to miss it if these do start to change the cervix. I have to call the office in the morning and talk to them again about this. I think I am going to insist on being monitored in the afternoon, when the contractions seem to be the most frequent and strong.
As of right now, 10:30 pm, I am STILL having contractions, even on the Brethine. Not as many, but still every 15 minutes or so. This is just so abnormal. AND I accidentally took the pills five hours apart instead of six. Please, self, let’s not do another thing to freak me out.
I feel like the biggest psycho calling the doctor every other day, but it’s not like I am making this up or just seeking attention. I am having contractions pretty consistently, here. Every time they have monitored me (twice) they haven’t picked up but one or two contractions total. This makes me feel like they think I’m some hypochondriac or making it up. I almost hate to say my name when they ask who is calling, I feel like saying “It’s me, the frequent flier. Just let me come in, check my cervix for the thousandth time, and send me on my way.” So frustrating.
I just want Knox to be okay. I try to tell myself that calling too much is better than not calling and having something be really wrong. What if I ignore these contractions and they turn into preterm labor? Or they start to affect the baby and I’m sitting at home trying to ignore them? I cannot let anything happen to this little guy, so if that makes me a psychotic hypochondriac pest, so be it. I’ll update tomorrow, but hopefully these contractions hit the road by then.
by Jessica on June 15, 2009
Seriously. Sorry, DH. And just to be clear, I am not talking about leg shaving here. I scared the everlovingcrap out of myself last night. I went to the bathroom for the 87th time last night, wiped, and of course checked the TP. I saw a tiny bright red mark. ::heart stops:: I wipe/blot at least ten more times and keep seeing a teeny spot. I ran and got a handheld mirror because I thought it was weird that the drop was so small, and saw that I had apparently nicked myself shaving and re-opened the cut with my frantic wiping. Despite the fact that I knew the blood was in no way related to the pregnancy, I still burst into tears and told DH. He hugged me like a good husband until I calmed down. It didn’t help that we had just watched “Gran Turino” which made me cry and get depressed. Note to self: anytime an animal is in a movie known to be sad: stop watching. No, the dog didn’t die, but if I see a dog and something sad happens anywhere near it, I will cry. Anyway, to recap, I am never shaving my lady parts again, so DH better get used to the wild woman look.
In news of our speck, I am still not sick, but my boobs still hurt to the touch. I don’t think they’re big enough to just ache for no reason. And today my nose is stopped up. I know that random nasal stoppages are common in pregnancy, so it made me kind of happy when I couldn’t breathe out of my nose this morning.
Have a lovely Monday, ladies!
