by Jessica on July 13, 2011
Yesterday I opened my kitchen cabinet and was nearly knocked out by a falling bottle of Wishbone Italian Dressing. As I knelt to pick up the kamikaze bottle, I was grumbling my normal complaints of “I hate this house!”, “I don’t have any space!” and “One day I will have a three-room pantry!!” Then it hit me. Was I seriously complaining that I have too much food to fit into my cabinets?? Wow, what a problem, right? I felt like a jerk! There are an inordinate amount of people around the world starving to death, and here I am, ticked off that my storage isn’t adequate enough to hold my surplus of food.
We are so blessed to have these “problems.” Did you know that just by living in America today, you’re considered rich worldwide? My pastor was telling us that in the story of the rich young ruler where Jesus says it’s easier for a camel to pass through the eye of needle than for the rich to enter heaven… he was talking about us. We like to think, “Oh, he’s talking about Donald Trump and his buddies.” He’s not, though. We’re rich! It’s easy to overlook that in the midst of the day-to-day hustle and bustle. When we look ahead to what will be, what will come and what we’ll have, we forget about the fact that right NOW is pretty darn good, too. We may not have the “best” house, the newest iPhone or that designer Louis Vuitton purse, but you know what? Who cares?! I have a roof over my head, food exploding from my cabinets, clothes to wear, air conditioning, the list goes on and on. And those are just the material things- when we get into things like family, love and health, I’m filthy rich. I bet you are, too.
by Jessica on June 30, 2011
About a month ago, I applied to seminary. After much prayer, thought and discussion, I decided to make the move to (eventually) have a career centered around God. I am really, really excited about this, but also kind of terrified! I am no Bible expert (hence, needing to go to school!), and I’m kind of worried that I’ll be the least-knowledgeable person in my classes. I will be taking classes predominantly online, but the local seminary I will hopefully be attending also requires one week intensive courses throughout the year. This should work out great with my work schedule and such. I’m just waiting to hear back on my acceptance. I had to have referrals from my pastor and two others, as well as write an essay on my Christian experience and fill out an application. The application even asked questions like “have you ever used tobacco or alcohol?” Um, oops. Hopefully they don’t take a big red X to mine because I like wine!
In all seriousness, I am really ready to get started! With any luck, I will begin this August. It’s a new chapter, and definitely an exciting one! As of now, I’ll be pursuing the ministry leadership track within the Masters of Divinity degree. I’m thinking women’s ministry is my long-term goal, but who knows how God will choose to use me. I’m open to His instruction! Any prayers you guys could send my way would be greatly appreciated!
Who would have thought… me turning into a pastor?! Crazy.
by Jessica on June 2, 2011
This is kind of a two-parter, both parts equalling a very confused me. First off, my body is super wacked out this month. I have no idea when or if I ovulated. I’m on day 19 today, and I *think* yesterday may have been the day. However, all of the ovulation tests I have taken this month are totally throwing me off. I had two that looked positive around day 13… I don’t even know why I took one that early since I never o until much later, but anyway, I did and there you go. The other fertility “symptoms” didn’t quite line up, though, and I ended up having another positive a few days later. This is the one thing I miss about taking my basal temps. Gotta love PCOS and its super-crappiness! I will just tell myself yesterday was the day and go with that so I don’t lose my mind. Thank goodness I am on Zoloft, or I would be positively out of my mind.
This go-round of TTC is so different than with Knox. I still think about it a lot, but it’s not that panicky feeling I had the first time. Before, I was obsessed with getting pregnant. I didn’t just want it, I needed it, with every fiber of my being. I HAD to have that baby! Now, my want doesn’t interrupt my everyday life like before- I think a lot of this is that I already have Knox to focus on. Yes, I really want another baby, but if we can’t have one, Knox is enough. How can I really ask for a bigger blessing than I have already been given? Granted, I’m still hoping and praying for baby #2 HARD, but it won’t be the end of the world if it doesn’t happen. I would be distraught and disappointed if I can’t experience another pregnancy, but we will get Knox a sibling one way or another. The only difference would be that he’d probably end up with an Asian sibling instead of one that looks like him! Another difference this time is that I’m calmer in general, which I attribute to a better relationship with God. I trust Him more, and that really helps in every facet of my life! Also, let’s not discount that Zoloft and its general awesomeness. 
My second confusion-inducing topic is my future career/ school plans. Since I met with our pastor a month ago about my desire to further my Christian education, I have been doing a lot of thinking and praying about what it is I should do. I will wake up with this panicked/ anxious feeling in the middle of the night, sometimes, and I know it’s because I am really worrying over this. I know that God is going to point me in the way He wants me to go, but man, it would be so nice if I could just call Him up and get His opinion! At this point, I am feeling the most inclined towards seminary. Yup. I’d be the Southern Belle Baptist. Ha! Seriously, though, I am really leaning towards getting my Masters of Divinity and being a pastor- at this point I am thinking an associate pastor gig would be more up my alley than being in charge of an entire congregation, but I figure once I got to seminary, I’d be able to figure out my “specialty” just like a doctor does in medical school. The local school I’m looking in to would allow me to complete a lot of my course work online and the rest in one-week “intensive” sessions on-campus. I think this would work out pretty well. We’ll see, though, I have another meeting coming up with my pastor to get his opinion (and letter of recommendation!). Hopefully God will reveal His plan for me in time because I know he has one, and I am sure it’s better than any that I could think up.
by Jessica on May 26, 2011
After all the issues we’ve had with my dad’s drinking lately, I am thrilled to say that he checked himself into an in-patient rehab while we were on vacation. I felt like it was such an up-hill battle getting him to see things for how they really were. He called me before we left and told me he was planning on going. He sounded really good and told me he’d actually already stopped drinking on his own and realized he needed to do this not only so he didn’t lose his family, but for himself, as well. Once a spot opened up, he checked in. He actually did it.
He was there for just over a week before the doctor released him. He told me they had him in about five meetings a day, gave him some meds to help with the transition and had him go through some very thorough consultations with their doctors. He called me on Tuesday and told me all about his experience, and I have to say, he sounded better than I have heard him sound in years. He sounded hopeful and very optimistic about his future, saying he is signing up for AA meetings and is looking for, and has some leads on, a job. He told me he really wanted to see us, and I agreed to meet with him this weekend. I feel like giving him something to look forward to and strive for will really help him to stay on the right path. I hope it will, anyway.
I talked with my grandmother for a long time the other day, and she confirmed that he, indeed, stopped drinking before he went to the rehab program and that things had been SO much better at their house. She said when he got back, he looked wonderful and refreshed- no more red-face, which is a big sign of his drinking. She said he kept apologizing to her for all the things he had done and said. She said she knew that wasn’t him, it was the alcohol, and it really was. It’s incredible to me how alcohol can change a person and their personality for the worse. Much worse.
I am praying so, so hard that my dad stays sober because he really does have so much to live for. I want to know, for the first time, what it’s like to have a relationship with my father that is POSITIVE. I hope it can happen. I want him to know Knox and for Knox to know him- the real him without any hint of alcoholism.
It was different to hear my dad refer to himself as an alcoholic, having always denied any semblance of a problem. I think being accountable is really the first step to recovery.
What’s crazy is that all of this started to come about after I started really praying for my dad. I put him on our prayer list in Sunday school and even my pastor prayed for him during our meeting. I tell you, prayer works!! Here’s to hoping a solid, new relationship can come out of this situation!
by Jessica on May 24, 2011
And I can say that without feeling any sort of guilt because my husband is about to be one!! Trevor GOT THE JOB with the fire department! We are absolutely thrilled. They randomly called him at 10 o’clock one night while we were on vacation. Trevor came inside from playing bocce ball on the beach to excitedly tell me all about it. He had to go find a Kinkos so he could print out his paperwork and fax it in to make things official. His training starts on June 13. The training program is 12 weeks long and runs Monday through Friday from 7:30am to 5pm. Once he’s finished with that, he’ll get a raise and get assigned to a fire station. His schedule will be 24 hours on and 48 hours off. This will work out wonderfully because Knox will be able to spend a few days a week with his Daddy so his mother can get some work accomplished!
I am so incredibly proud of my husband. This job journey has been a long one for him (like five years, long), and I am so, so thrilled to see him finally get where he wants to be long-term. It really felt like things were dragging along horribly slowly for him, and we just couldn’t figure out why. He’s such a hard working, dedicated person, but nothing ever seemed to pan out like it was supposed to into a long-term career. God obviously had bigger plans for Trevor than we understood, hence the waiting until this job came along.
I know he is looking so forward to starting this new chapter, and even though I will be, without a doubt, worrying about him a LOT more, now, I am looking forward to it, too.
Thank you for all the prayers you sent our way, we truly appreciate it!
