by Jessica on April 5, 2011
Thanks for all of the amazing comments and stories left in response to my last post! I am so thankful for all of you guys, and I am so sorry that so many of you could related all-to-well to that post. I appreciate all of your feedback, and I will definitely keep you updated on what happens with my dad and trying to get him cleaned up.
Now, let’s change gears a bit, shall we? Like, completely opposite end of the spectrum, change gears.
I spent some time this weekend in the lingerie section of Kohl’s. Generally, Victoria’s Secret is my bff when bra shopping, but I am on a budget, so Kohl’s was a necessary substitution. Plus, I don’t need all that much material to cover my current situation, if you catch my drift. I am down to only one bra that actually fits my new, pitiful set of boobs (if you can even call them that), so I figured it was time to shop for some new ones. Out of the 10+ size 34A bras I grabbed, guess how many fit? None. They were all too big.
Y’all. I think I need a AA.
::dissolves into fit of sobs::
This is probably the most depressed I have ever been when clothing shopping (this even trumps bathing suit shopping). I was finally able to find one bra that fit, even though it was an A, it was a more flexible cup, so I could fake it a bit. I don’t think they even sell that size in the grown-up section, and there is no way I am going to shop with the 12 year olds in the girls section. I mean, what kind of a cruel joke is this?? I was hoping they’d get bigger after breast feeding, not smaller!! I didn’t have all that much to spare to begin with! I am going to have to get a breast augmentation. I thought I may consider one once I’m finished having kids, but I am starting to think that I need it sooner rather than later. Seriously. I can’t live with this particular issue. It makes me feel so badly about myself, I can’t stand it. I never take my shirt off around Trevor, and that makes me sad- I shouldn’t feel that way, but I can’t deal with it. He doesn’t seem to mind (thankfully I married a butt man… though that’s a little worse for the wear, too), but I do. Woe to me, getting older stinks!
And I promise, no more complaining about my small boobs (at least for a week). I just had to share this terrible new development with you guys! Oh how I wish AA was bigger than an A like DD is bigger than a D. That would be a fabulous surprise.
by Jessica on March 14, 2011
Okay. What has it been, two months since I stopped nursing Knox? Maybe someone should tell my milk ducts that we are no longer in need of their services this go ’round. I STILL have milk! Insanity, I tell you. Granted, my boobs have shrunk to miniscule proportions, I am barely an A at this point. I was in the shower this weekend and wondered “Huh. Is there any milk still in there?” So, I gave one a squeeze, and sure enough, stuff came out. Is this normal? I am venturing a guess at “no.”
I have not messed with them at all since weaning (and neither has anyone else for that matter because I keep them hidden at ALL times), so I am not sure why things are not totally dried out at this point. Oh well. I guess this is the residual of a good milk supply, which I am so grateful to have had, so I won’t complain too much- it’s just a little odd!
by Jessica on January 31, 2011
Like most kids his age, Knox is a fan of Cheerios. We keep a container of them in his bag all the time, but he has recently discovered that it is way more fun to feed your Daddy Cheerios, than it is to feed them to yourself.
What, you mean you want this Cheerio? Too bad, I’m eating it.
Well, since you’re sad, I guess you can have one.
Here ya go!
Wait a minute, where did that thing go?
O. There it is.
Daddy, I just want to take a closer look at this before I commit to giving it to you.
I think I’ll keep it.
Ha! You can see Trevor starting to say “NOOO!” in that last picture. Knox grabbed that thing out of Trevor’s mouth so fast, he didn’t even have a chance to move his head to stop him. I was cracking up. Not the most sanitary thing ever, but, hey, worse things have happened.
These pictures were taken after Knox had a run-in with our metal fireplace screen on Friday night. Let’s just say that Knox decided he needed to climb it and the screen disagreed. He ended up with it on top of him and sported a huge knot just over his eyebrow. It scared me half to death, and I felt absolutely awful about it. That’s one of those moments as a parent where you feel like total scum for letting something happen to your sweet baby. I know he’ll get bumps and bruises, but man, I wish I could prevent all of them.
In weaning/ sleeping news, Knox is doing awesome. Saturday, he actually slept from 10:30 to 7:30! I was thrilled! He was definitely put down earlier than that but rebelled. Oh well, at least he got good sleep. He woke up a couple times last night, but is going for nice long stretches. We also found something that he LOVES to drink- Stonyfield Organic Yogurt Smoothies for babies. He has never reacted to something like he did to that. I gave him one yesterday, and he chugged the whole cup in two minutes!! He will gulp down water, but has never drank a whole glass of something at once before. I think we have a winner! He’s already had a whole one this morning with a little whole milk added, so I think this will be our method of getting milk into him until he’s acclimated to whole milk (which we’ll be gradually mixing in). He does like soy milk better than whole milk at this point, so we’ll keep giving him some of that, too.
I hope everyone had a great weekend!
by Jessica on December 15, 2010
With the end of nursing in sight, I am having a lot of mixed feelings. On the one hand, breast feeding has been such a positive experience. I will really miss the closeness of it, and that bond that nursing has created between Knox and I. It is such a special time to spend together, and I have a lot of emotional attachment to it. That alone has made me think more than once that I’d nurse for as long as I could. Plus the nutritional aspect of things, which is the main reason I did it in the first place.
On the other hand… I will no longer be the milk machine! I don’t have to worry about shoving liners in my bras so I don’t leak milk everywhere. I can wear a bra without easy-access flaps. I can have a glass of wine if I want one. I don’t have to worry about what medication I take. I can sleep WITHOUT A BRA ON once again! Seriously, I am the most excited about that one… bras are crap.
But.
There is one thing I am really, really scared about.
My boobs. They’re going to shrink. A lot. And I don’t think I’m ready to go back to that situation. All my life, I wanted one thing: boobs. We have pictures of me at the age of three with tissues stuffed into my shirt. And even though my mom always told me that I’d get them eventually, I never did. Blasted flat chestedness. I have been an A cup for as long as I can remember. Until I got pregnant and I creeped up to a B. It was cool, but not a noticeable difference. Then my milk came in after Knox was born, and holy cow, hello D cup. Glorious, I tell you! I’m probably more like a full C now, unless I go for a long time without nursing like when we went to a wedding this weekend and I nearly exploded the seams on my dress. We did manage to get a great picture of the two of us without (get this) my husband making a face or obscene gesture! Woo hoo!
Yowza, they were huge. I loved it. Although my dress could not have stretched much more! Even now, if Knox falls asleep nursing and drinks me dry, my poor shriveled up boob is enough to make me want to sob. At least they were “pretty” before I was pregnant, but now, they’re stretch marked and about to be shrimpy again. I just don’t know how I feel about this. I would totally get implants but 1) Dave Ramsey does not approve of cosmetic surgery as a part of debt reduction 2) I want to have more kids, so that would be kind of a waste when they get all stretched out again and 3) I’m skeered. What if something went wrong during surgery? I don’t want to die for want of bigger boobs- no thanks! If only all those “get boobs fast!” pills weren’t scams. That would be a great situation.
So, here we are. Left in the limbo of “I can’t even do anything about this.” I guess it will be time to visit Victoria’s Secret soon to invest in a new supply of super-padded bras (that’s her secret you know… padding). Until then, I’m enjoying what I have.
by Jessica on September 8, 2010
Most people probably hop in the shower when the get out of bed in the mornings. Well, I’ve been giving myself an unintended shower for the past three mornings without even leaving the bed. Milk baths are good for your skin, right? Not that kind? Oh, okay. Um, yeah, so my boobs. Are like a faucet. I know that most women stop leaking profusely after the first few weeks of breast feeding, but apparently a select few with a milk supply that could shame a dairy cow continue to leak the whole time they nurse. Don’t get me wrong, I feel SO fortunate to have such a good supply, but the leaking is out of control at night. I have tried my best to use reusable breast pads instead of landfill-clogging disposable ones, but you know what? They don’t work. They’re too small and too non-absorbent for nighttime use. Who makes breast pads the size of a quarter? Seriously, let’s make some that cover the whole boob-ular area, shall we? And my boobs aren’t even big. They’re small, guys. I can’t imagine what a well-endowed chick would do aside from taping them on.
I can wear them during the day, but at night, I apparently roll around like a spaz and they come dislodged from my bra. So last night, back to the old stand-by Lansinoh pads. I woke up at 3 a.m. drenched. I was confused. I knew I used the “right” pads, and yet, I was still all drippy. Yeah, that’s what happens when you unlatch your nursing bra and FORGET TO FASTEN IT BACK. Awesome. So let us all remember that if you leave your boob hanging out, you’ll probably get milk sheets. Good thing we have mattress pads for times like this.
And by “good thing” I mean “it would have been a good thing if I had remembered to purchase one of those.”
