Good morning, friends. How are you doing today? I wore earplugs in the car this morning because my infant is trying to kill me through the power of his blood-curdling car-hating screams.
It’s a good look, no? The combination of hot pink ear plugs and supreme irritation?
Also? I am out of coffee. Travesty, indeed, because this is a two cup kind of morning. I am officially in the throes of weaning Brody. He’s about three weeks away from turning one, and I must say, my love for breast feeding this child has grown cold. Well, actually, let me revise that statement: I love breast feeding. DURING THE DAY. At night? Every hour, on the hour? Not so much, guys, not so much.
Knox did the same thing to me, though he kindly waited a wee bit longer than Brody. I ended up weaning him at 13 months due to sheer sleep deprivation, and I hoped to make it at least that long with Brody. However, that is really no longer an option. Literally, for months now, I have been woken up every single hour by my youngest to comfort nurse, and it’s really no longer okay with me. Because I am beyond tired. We’re talking zombie-level, I don’t know how I am still functioning, “what’s my name, again?” tired. I left a message for our pediatrician on Tuesday saying “I would love if you could call me to discuss weaning Brody. If I don’t get some sleep soon, I will die. Thanks!” For real, that’s the message that I left. He called me back pretty quickly.
He said to go ahead and start introducing him to cow’s milk and that I was able to start to wean him whenever I’m ready since he’s almost a year old. Hi, I’m ready! My first step is getting him to like milk (I have a plan), and also, I am night weaning cold turkey. It’s amazing how fast that starts to work (I say this after one night of it… watch me regret that very quickly). I refused to nurse him to sleep last night, and he slept for four hours straight. In his own bed. I literally cannot remember the last time that has happened. Then, I was up for about an hour and a half with him at 1 a.m. because he was screaming at the top of his lungs because I would not pick him up. I went in, lay him back down, soothed him and walked out. He screamed. Repeat that about 47 times. Finally, I gave up because I was falling asleep on the floor in the hallway, and I decided that step one is weaning and step two can be getting him to stay in his own bed. I brought him into our room and he slept for five hours with no nursing.
My boobs hurt so bad this morning because I’m so conditioned to feeding him constantly. I’m hoping that night weaning will help get him sleeping through the night, then I’ll transition him into his own bed and I’ll keep working on cutting day feedings so that by the time he’s a year old, we’re ready or almost ready to totally stop. I am hoping to be getting a new job here soon (it’ll be at least another week before I hear back about the dream job… still praying hard!), so it’s important that he be weaned for that reason, too. I cannot keep stretching myself so thin, so pumping at work is not going to happen. I am really ready to be finished, as much as I’ll miss it, Brody has been an incredibly demanding little nursling, so I’m a little more willing to say “good-bye!” than I may have been, otherwise.
Anyone else dealing with a major lack of sleep right now? I feel your pain, friends!
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{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }
I can completly understand! My son was the same way! I weaned him completely in December at 12.5 months! I love nursing too, but the night waking got old:( He threw a fit for about the first week or so, but now he typically goes to sleep and stays asleep until morning! I just have to work on getting him to do that in his bed now! Good luck!!!!
Ohmylanta! I have been where you are! At 10 months old, my child was still waking up sometimes 4 times a night. It took 3 weeks of letting him work it out, and we finally did it. I continued to nurse for a few more months, but only in the daytime. It was very challenging. I always call the first year “a bear” and soetimes have trouble enjoying it due to the sleep deprivation. My friends who have children that sleep seem to love the first year. Me? Not so much as hard at it is to admit it. Luckily I had two stomach bugs (did I just say luckily to that?) and it helped lower my supply so weaning was a little less painful and the supply was less available to my hungry hippo. I have now been done nursing for about 3 weeks and although I do miss it sometimes, I am so happy to be much more rested and not having my child attached to me at all crazy hours. Good luck! In a month you will look back and go “how did that happen?”. Good luck with the job!!!
Bethany, I am so jealous of my friends whose children sleep! You’re so right, the first year is a tough one.
Good Luck!!! My daughter weaned herself when she started walking. She slowly cut out those nursing session until they were gone. I was both happy and sad. It’s hard… I always have such mixed feelings about breastfeeding. I absolutely love it but sometimes I just want to run away. It’s such an intense relationship!! I haven’t been getting much sleep… dark circles down to my cheek bones (you look GREAT btw). Baby #3 possibly making his/her appearance a tad early. Every night has been filled with non-stop painful contractions only for them to disappear as soon as the sun rises. I am so done!! But so not ready either!! lol
You will get through this! I think you are doing it the right away. Nursing first… bed later. He will feel comforted just being with you and it will help the transition. Good Luck!!
Thanks! You’re so right, it is a seriously intense relationship!!
I never have experienced this (although I’m filing everything away in the back of my mind for “someday”)… but I must say, even sleep-deprived and irritated, you still look pretty darn cute! =)
You’re so sweet, thank you!
So… I jokingly say I haven’t had sleep in 14 months… although, sadly it is not a joke. My son started sleeping 4-6 hours the first few months of his life and then quickly stopped around 4 months old. I was ready to lose my mind. I’ve stuck with it though and have made it quite sometime on zero sleep! Lol I started working with him around 1 to fall asleep on his own in his crib… which he does every night… he just doesn’t stay there long! He has gotten better and I get anywhere from 2- 6 hours in that a crib, but then I bring him to bed where we are up every hour or so. He must be cutting more teeth because last night we were up every hour… and I feel like death warmed over. But it is ok because tomorrow is my last day at work before I become a SAHM and can take naps with my sleepless 14 month old during the day! Yes! Night nursing totally kills us too! Bleh
Oh man, Jessica! I really do feel your pain! I have a little girl who is just a few days younger than Brody (born 2/16). My plan was to BF for a year, but I am also in the process of weaning. She co-slept with us because it was just easier when nursing her. It meant I got a little more sleep. However, I think that was our downfall. Anytime I heard her fuss, wimper, or whine I would immediately pop her on my boob to get her to go back to sleep. It was easier for me in the short term b/c I got to drift back off to sleep while nursing, but detrimental in the long run b/c that became the only way she would go to sleep. We tried No Cry stuff and none of it worked. The being able to successfully sleep train with no crying while co sleeping and breast feeding was not a reality for our family. I finally bit the bullet and put her in her room. My husband and I both hit walls after 9.5 months of no sleep. Here’s the part that I swear was an accident and not part of my devious plan to get some shut eye-we put her in her crib once she fell asleep after her last feeding, and went to bed. Silly, silly me accidentally turned the volume on the monitor off and husband and I must have been in a very deep sleep as the next thing we knew it was light out. I had to race to her room to verify she was breathing because she had never slept that long, let alone in her room! She must have never reached the point of screaming because we surely would have heard that but the fact that she wasn’t right near me to respond to the second she made a sound seemed to help. Now, we watch the monitor when she’s sleeping and she will wake a few times and even cry for a min or two but she snuggles back in and rarely do we have to go get her. She also is now completely weaned at night and mostly during the day. This is huge for me because this girl loved breastfeding. There was never a time I could offer it where she would refuse. I really thought I would some day be driving to her dorm room to give her her nightly feeding! Now she is totally disinterested. It’s a little sad to close that door, but the sadness is overcome by glee that we are all getting some sleep! Ok well that was a novel! Good luck sweetie! I know what a year of not sleeping can do and I only have one little one on my hands!
Hi Jess. Is it not an option for you to only stop nursing at night? When Shane was having trouble sleeping through the night we had to let him cry it out. It made him worse when we would go in and rub his back but not pic him up. At that time I decided no more boob after his bedtime feeding. It actually worked well & fast too! It only took 2-3 nights. Words cannot express how sad I will be when he is done nursing all together. Now he nurses at wake up, am nap, pm nap and bed. If we are out and about and he naps in the car we skip the feedings. Maybe you could nurse just am and pm when you are working? Just a thought. But if you are done all together I think it is AWESOME that you nursed him for the full year. Not many can say they did that, exp while working & with another child at home too! Super MOM!!! You should be so proud of yourself!
I’ve really gone back and forth about it. For now, I am definitely night weaning and cutting back some day feeds. It really just depends on how that part goes, first. If I can keep doing it sporadically, then I may. It just depends on how he reacts to everything.
I am LOVING that you wear earplugs in the car. Pure awesome-ness!
LOL, it is so, so sad that I have to keep them in there! You can still hear very well with them in, they just kind of dull the shrillness of the screams!
Oh I feel your pain! we’re on Month 23 of nursing, and I was done 9 months ago. If only the little guy got that memo. I’d LOVE to cut out the night nursing, as this is ridiculous, and I find myself EVERY.SINGLE.NIGHT saying to my husband “I can’t do this anymore! – Sleeping in the snow by myself sounds like a dream come true!”
Now it’s only harder because he’s big enough to just get up and help himself. Are you kidding me? If you can help yourself to my breast, open the freaking fridge door and grab some milk!
Did I mention that I am done? yeah. Cold turkey will be happening right on his 2nd birthday. 15 days & counting..
I cracked up at your sleeping in the snow comment- I totally know what you mean!! You are almost there! I did cold turkey with Knox, and in my opinion, that was the best way to go! A few crappy days, then back to normalcy, at least for us!
I recently came across Isis Parenting as a resource for all things related to raising babies. They have a series of free webinars on breastfeeding, including one on weaning. Just thought I’d share in case it’s helpful for you: http://www.isisparenting.com/page/webinarsbreastfeeding (scroll down or search for the June 7, 2012 webinar). Good luck!
Me too, sister! My little one turns one year old on the 10th, and I haven’t slept through the night in a year. The last few months I’ve been getting up every 1-3 hours and working a full-time consulting job during the day. Praying something gives soon!
oh, and now that I’m trying to wean, i have a clogged milk duct! boo.
Ouch, Courtney! I hope something gives soon for you!