The past two weeks have been such an emotional rollercoaster. In the weeks leading up to Knox’s birthday, we’ve been doing seemingly constant evaluations, meetings and preparatory work to get him ready for the transition into the school system. Basically he gets therapy through BabyNet until he’s three, when he ages out. At three years old, the school system takes over, plus he then qualifies for something in SC called the PDD Waiver, which provides him with ABA therapy. Long story short, I’ve been running around all over creation for a couple weeks now to get everything in order.
Last week, we had his IEP (Individualized Education Plan) meeting, which I must say, was the worst thing I’ve sat through since his initial Autism evaluation results meeting. It seriously felt like “Okay, your kid has Autism. Let’s go over every single move he made in his multiple evaluations, then discuss just how bad his Autism is AND how far behind he is. Then, we’ll talk about how he needs to be in special education and make you want to bawl your eyes out.” In a nutshell, anyway, that’s surely how it felt like it went. Everyone I dealt with in the district was amazing and kind, and it was really not their fault. They have to follow protocol for these meetings, and it’s just a little too blunt at some points. Obviously, I know the situation with my child, I know the severity of his problems, but it’s just really difficult to hear it over and over again. Plus, to hear things like how he is at preschool (where I don’t get to watch him) and get disillusioned as to his level of social interaction was upsetting. I am glad that part is over, and now we just move forward to get Knox what he needs.
His last day at our church preschool was last week on his birthday. I made a special snack for his class and they celebrated his birthday, which I thought was the perfect way to say good-bye to that chapter of his young life. Today was his first day at the elementary school. I went in last week to meet his teacher and get all of the forms I needed. She is fantastic, and I know he will adore her. Knox ended up at a different preschool than we originally thought he would because our first choice school only had an afternoon slot available, which was smack in the middle of his nap time. However, this school is really great, too, I just had already met all of the therapists at the first school, so I just had to change gears. One things we love is that his speech therapist, who has worked with him at our house for over a year, actually works at that school, so she gets to see him and he’ll know someone there. His class is the “high-assistance” preschool class, and they have one teacher and two assistants. We dropped him off together this morning, and he ran right in and was happy to be there.
Of course, I forgot Knox’s registration forms at work yesterday, so I had to drive an hour round-trip back last night to get them. Then, in the habit of my life, I left them on the dining room table this morning. Mom fail. So, I had to go back to get them while Trevor waited with Knox (since he wasn’t officially enrolled and all due to the lack of papers). I had also forgotten to pack my poor child a jacket (like I said, I fail at motherhood today), so I signed in and ran that to his room after I went to the office. He was sitting in circle time next to the ABA therapist while the teacher talked and showed them something on the overhead projector. He was grinning from ear to ear. Just like that, all of this stress and heartache was worth it. Because he is going to get what he needs there, and as much as I have wanted to scream “HE DOES NOT BELONG HERE!!” a million times as I’ve heard the words “special education” echoing in my head, maybe he does belong here right now. He may not always, but right now, he needs special attention, and he will get it here. That doesn’t make it any less hard for us as his parents, but parenthood isn’t always about doing what’s easy: it’s about doing what’s right, and sometimes, that’s really, really hard. I just pray that my boy knows one day that all of this was done for him, and that we’ve always tried our hardest to take care of him. He is so loved.
Curled up with a book on his birthday
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{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }
I can only imagine how hard this process was for you, especially the bluntness, that is always so hard to digest because as parents we don’t want there to be anything negative. You said it perfectly though – you are doing what’s right and his best interests are your main concern…just remind yourself of that on the hard days, it will all pay off. He is a great kid and will excel because he has great parents.
You and Trevor are amazing parents and Knox is so lucky to have you. He is an extraordinary boy. YOU did that. One step at a time. One foot in front if the other…one breath at a time. You have so much love and support heading your way! Xoxo
IEP meetings have always been hard on me. I know the point of them is to talk about Noah’s delays and what needs to be done to help him but I just want to scream out all the good things he does and how amazing he is.
Christy, you are so right! I totally understand!
We are in the same boat. My little boy turns 3 on march 11th. I’m getting nervous because his ot and speech therapist have been amazing. I know the school system will be great but it’s just going to be a big change! I hope Knox does great today!
Laura, I hope your transition is a smooth one. It’s so hard to lose great providers!
You and your husband are great parents and a great team. My three old son is also in a special 3 year old preschool program through the schools. IEP meetings are so rough! You’re doing exactly what your son needs though, and many kids can even out grow many of their delays with therapy and lots of hard work from parents. That gives me a lot of hope!!!! Good luck and keep up the great work!!!!
Beautiful post Jess! Hugs to you too. I have tears in my eyes after reading this. It breaks out hearts as Mothers to have a baby who has a special need. I know I felt the same as you described when my daughter was put on her IEP for speech delay. Every single time I attend her meetings my heart hurts even though she is doing fairly well. She started public school right after her 3rd birthday too and it has honestly been the best thing for her. I was so happy to read that Knox was enjoying his class when you went back. I am sure that helped you some today. XOXO
It definitely helped to see that grin!
For what it’s worth I think you are doing a great job with Knox! You are making sure that he gets all the extra help he may need!
I know it has to make you feel good that he did so great with the transition to a new school! Hoping that he continues to love it!
IEPs aren’t fun at all, this I know all too well. I have to go through it for two kids and will be doing my 3rd pretty soon. So incredibly hard to sit there while numerous people listen to basically what your child ISN’T doing or what they are lacking in. Yes, hard not to cry and feel so overwhelmed by it all. But, the good news? Once they are in the school system, they really do get the help they need and it goes really smooth from here on out. You meet once a year for an IEP meeting to cover everything so the time spent on it all does go down to that. Hang in there!
Your post struck a chord for me today. I can’t even imagine how hard this all is, but you are doing such a wonderful job. The fact that you are aware that even though his is hard, it is the right thing is so remarkable. Well done.
Awww Jessica I totally relate with the IEP. DO NOT feel bad about crying during the meeting.. I totally cried my eyes out big time during that meeting as well and EVERY one after that also. My last one for Baran was in December and even though I brought my mom for support since my husband works 3rd shift I cried the whole meeting! Every mom I’ve talked to that has a child with an IEP has cried during that first appt. Just hang in there and I’ll be thinking about you!
I also agree with Elizabeth.. it REALLY DOES make your heart hurt b/c you love them SOOOOO MUCH!
You are doing the right thing! I know its hard, but Knox is getting the attention he needs!
So may parents overlook things like this and want to turn a blind eye! You guys took this on head first and it is a great thing that you did! We had some autisum scares with my son who will be 3 in a week and a half so I know a little bit about what you are going through. Keep your head up and know that ya’ll are doing the right thing for him! 
I am so glad I read this today. This week my 32 month old had her screening for Early Intervention, ILversion of BabyNet. She needs several therapies and I have cried so much this week, ugh. That combined with the transition we will be doing in four months to IEPs and “real” school has left me with such a heavy heart. Seeing you handling this helps me be strong. Thank you.
Melissa, it can be so hard at first. I hope everything goes well for you guys- just remember that this is the absolute best thing you can do for her right now! Go through the tough part now so that she can have as normal a life as possible later on. Be strong Mama, you’ll be okay!!