This is a note to say that if I don’t blog ever again, it’s because I have died of starvation. We had zero food in the house this morning, so aside from coffee and a bite of Knox’s banana, I am running on empty. I was going to stop on the way to work, but Screamy McGee forbade me from pulling into any drive-thru. At that point, I had to make a choice: listen to crying that would make me bleed from the ears for five more minutes or forgo eating breakfast. I chose sanity over nourishment. This may have been a fatal error.
I have scavenged my office and my bag, and I am not proud to say that I just ate an expired Baby Mum Mum. So the chance that I may come down with some sort of expiration disease won’t even be worth it because, well, those things melt and do absolutely nothing to satiate hunger. I am *this* close to eating Brody’s lunch. However, that would make me feel horrendously guilty (and probably nauseated), so I have resorted to eating Splenda packets that I found in my mom’s desk. I am currently drinking a glass of water with two Splendas. This is an indication of how freaking hungry I am because I do not use artificial sweeteners, but I figured it would be better to do that than pass out. I keep telling myself this is what Bear Grylls would do as I scour the place looking for a source of “food energy.”
For the love of all things good, someone please bring me a doughnut.
That is all, and if this kid would ever stop crying or someone else would get here, maybe I could go somewhere to feed myself. That is the end of my “coffee break” AKA blog break. Note to self: next time, choose food.