January 2012

Battle Scars

by Jessica on January 23, 2012

Don’t ever say I didn’t show you anything. Or tell you anything. Because I’m probably about to scar you for life. I’ve whined and complained during this pregnancy about my stretch marks. How horrible they are, how much I hate them and how they kind of make me want to vomit. I always feel like I have to precede any complaint with an explanation of how thankful I am for my pregnancy, like being unhappy with a side effect of pregnancy somehow makes me seem less grateful for it, but you know what? That’s ridiculous. No matter how much you love your children, that doesn’t mean you have to love the ugly scars, hemorrhoids or saggy boobs that your pregnancies have left you with. Obviously any of us would take these unpleasant things a million times over to get our baby out of it, but if given the choice, we’d always opt out of the ugly stuff and just take the baby if we could!

I don’t think I fully realized how lucky I was in my pregnancy with Knox. My only stretch marks were a few on my boobs (which have largely faded away) and some nasty deep ones on my left side (which have actually gotten worse and darker). I had not a single mark on my stomach, although my belly button was left looking a little strange.

Case in point, my first belly pic with Brody- I seriously want to punch my past self right now for being all skinny and pretty-skinned.

Because, my stomach will never look like that again. Like, never. Okay. Take a deep breath because you’re about to see the full extent of the horror occurring on my belly right now. That’s right. I’m going to show you my stretch marks in all their “glory.”

I am crazy for showing you this.

And kind of horrified.

Um, okay. Rip off the Band-aid.

::Crickets:: Um, where are the stretch marks?? Oh, well, this is the freak of nature right side of my stomach that is apparently immune to them. But don’t worry. Because this is what the left looks like:

Obviously the ones over my belly button are the worst. The ones on my side are pretty bad, too. And I have to say, a picture doesn’t really show the full extent, especially pictures taken into the mirror with my phone. They’re darker in person, but they’re going to be a LOT worse when Brody comes out because they’re stretched out right now. I’m just going to avoid mirrors for, oh, ever after delivery. At least my boobs will be huge for a while afterwards thanks to breast feeding. Maybe that will distract me!

So, how do you deal with the battle scars of motherhood? Ignore them? Embrace them? Cover them? Surgically reduce/ enhance them? What’s worked for you?

{ 50 comments }

34 Weeks

by Jessica on January 21, 2012

I generally don’t post these surveys every week, but considering I really don’t know how much longer I have, I figured I might as well document these last few weeks!

How far along? 34 Weeks
Total weight gain/loss: Around 26 pounds. I have lost a pound a week for the past two weeks- I know this is from a decrease in appetite caused by all the water I’m drinking. I take in 12-14 glasses a day, so I am always full (literally) of water. I’ve been really trying to eat well this week, regardless of whether I’m in the mood or not.
Maternity clothes? Yes. My bed rest uniform consists of maternity yoga pants and a t-shirt… SO comfortable!
Sleep: I’ve had a hard time getting to sleep. I’m very restless from laying around so much- I’m just not tired at a normal hour. Generally, I’m falling asleep close to 1 a.m…. and getting up at 7:30 with Knox. At least bed rest won’t last much longer, but seriously, I’ll be getting way less sleep pretty soon, so I might as well get used to it!
Best moment this week: Hitting 34 weeks. Every single week is a big deal with all of this pre-term scariness going on.
Movement: Nearly constant. Brody is a wild child! Now that’s he’s bigger, too, I’ve started to get “lightening crotch” a lot more often. You know, that super fun pinching feeling in your cervix that makes you want to jump out of your skin.
Food cravings: Brownies and chocolate milk, still.
Gender: Boy
Labor Signs: Unfortunately, yes. At 3 cm dilated and 80% effaced. His head is not engaged, which is very good. Let’s hope that by next week things have not progressed any more. I’m still contracting, even on the meds and with the bed rest.
Stretch marks? It’s a disaster. Trevor caught a glimpse of them this week and said “Ugh! Those look painful!” Thanks, babe.
What I miss: No contractions and not worrying about pre-term labor!! Also being able to change sleeping positions- I only have one comfortable spot… laying on my left side in my snoogle.
What I am looking forward to: Reaching 36 weeks, finishing Brody’s nursery, getting the to-do list knocked out. Thankfully, I have help! My awesome and amazing friend, Lindsey, is coming over today to help me get his room finished up. I just have to hang a few things up and it will be pretty much complete.
Weekly Wisdom: Be still! Lay, drink, and lay some more. Also, I have found a lot of comfort in reading my daily devotional and Bible verses. It keeps me centered and somewhat calm.
Milestones: 34 Weeks! Each week (and day, really) is a milestone at this point!

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1, 2, 3

by Jessica on January 19, 2012

THREE.

That would be how many centimeters I am dilated.

I went in for my weekly doctor visit today, and since I’m still contracting on the Procardia and bed rest, they wanted to check me again. I’m 3 cm dilated, still 80% effaced and, luckily, Brody is still NOT engaged in the birth canal. So, I have progressed 1 cm since last week.

I’ve also lost weight the past two weeks, just a pound a week, but I know it’s from drinking so much water. I’m getting at least 12 glasses a day, generally 14. Yeah… I pee a lot. Anyway, they’re not really worried about that at all. My blood pressure is also really low because of the Procardia (which is technically a blood pressure medicine), which makes me feel faint and out of breath every now and again. Last week it was 92/64 and this week it was 80/64.

I’ll be 34 weeks on Saturday, and after 34 weeks, they don’t actively try to stop your labor with Magnesium Sulfate or anything like that. Basically, I’m on the P17 injections, the Procardia, bed rest and have had the two steroid injections, so they’ve done all they can do. It’s up to me, now, to lay down and try to just will Brody to stay in for at least another two weeks! They did say that if my contractions start to pick up, they can give me a shot of Terbutaline in L&D, they just can’t give the pills anymore, so at least I have an emergency option, just in case!

It’s starting to get a little stressful, but I am trying my very best to stay positive and just tell myself that this baby is NOT coming, yet. Let’s hope that works!

{ 14 comments }

Life from the couch

by Jessica on January 18, 2012

I’ve been on bed rest for about a week now, and I have to say, it’s not easy. Don’t get me wrong, I can totally handle laying down and watching TV, but what’s not so easy is trying to lay down with a two year-old climbing all over you. I don’t know how effective this bed rest is honestly going to be because I can’t seem to stay down for very long. Knox’s party was last weekend, and I know that I was up more than I was supposed to be, but I did try to sit as much as possible during the party. Things have been much more relaxed since then, but it’s nothing like when I was on bed rest with Knox. Last time, I would get my giant cup of water, my meds, my computer and the remotes and be camped out on the couch all day long. I’d get up to eat, pee and shower, but for the most part, I remained horizontal. Since it was moderate bed rest, I would do a few light activities like folding baby clothes or straightening up the kitchen after dinner.

This time, I lay down, then I’m right back up to stop Knox from pulling a platter off of the table, to change his diaper, to get him a cup of milk, etc. And when I’m actually laying/ reclining on the couch, he wants to climb all over me. He has a major obsession with my belly and has to lift up my shirt to look at it, poke it, pinch it, lay on it, etc. He also thinks it’s a step stool, good for reaching the top of the couch. Obviously, I don’t want him to crush Brody, so I have to pull him off of it a lot! He has been super snuggly, too, wanting to curl up next to me and lay his head on me, which is the sweetest thing ever. I don’t think he understands why I’m being still and not chasing him everywhere!

All this isn’t to say that Trevor isn’t helping me a ton- he’s been a huge help when he’s off of work. It’s been hard for him, though. He’s not used to being Mr. Mom all of the time, and I know it’s stressful for him. We had to talk about everything yesterday because we were both getting more wound up and were at each other a little too much. I asked him to wait to do his personal things like working out or going for a run while Knox was napping or after he went to sleep. It was driving me crazy that he would chose to do those things right when Knox woke up, leaving me with no help during his most hyper time of day. I know he needs some time “off” during the day and I want him to have it, just not right then! He asked me to be more vocal about things I needed help with, while at the same time not just giving orders all day long. It’s hard for me to ask for help, and it’s hard for him to have to help ALL day long. Turns out, we just needed to have a good talk and get everything off of our chests- that tends to be the case in our relationship! I really appreciate having a husband that tries so hard to help, I know a lot of women are not nearly so lucky!! He is so great with Knox, and has really done so much around the house to keep things running smoothly.

I’ve also had a lot of help from our moms on days that Trevor is working. They come over to help me with getting Knox a bath and dinner, which is so nice. Today, Knox has preschool, so I just get him up and ready, drop him off at 8:45, then chill out until I have to pick him back up at 12. He’ll eat lunch when we get home and go down for a nap until around 3. Then, Trevor’s mom will come over around 5 to help me with the evening routine. So, even though Trevor is at work today, I still have a lot of down time to rest, which is good.

For whatever reason, I am feeling super attached to Knox right now, too. I guess it’s a combination of pregnancy hormones and the fact that these are our last few weeks “alone” together before Brody makes his debut into our family. When I dropped him off today, he lost it big time and started sobbing. Normally, he runs off to play and totally ignores me, so it really got to me. I managed to make it to the car before I started bawling like a baby. I am definitely ready to feel normal, emotionally, again because I have been super obsessive and overly emotional lately- to the point where I’m even driving myself crazy!!

That brings me to the fact that sitting and doing nothing is the hardest part of all of this because I have a “to-do” list a mile long! It is eating me alive not to be able to do those things, but I know it’s worth it, so I just have to suck it up. I’m making lots of lists, so that when I get sprung, I will be able to make quick work of getting all of those little things done! I still need to pack my hospital bag (at least I have a list of what needs to go in there!), finish Brody’s room, get his car seat and co-sleeper pulled out (Trevor can do those, though) and a lot of other little things. Hopefully all will go well and Brody will stay put for a few more weeks and give us some time to get ready for him! I go to the OB tomorrow for my now-weekly appointment, so hopefully everything will look good.

Now, just because, here are a few pictures from this week:

Knox on his 2nd Birthday- we took a quick trip to Coldstone for some ice cream. This was the first time he’s had a cone all to himself, and he ate every bite!

Brody’s crib skirt finally came in yesterday! I LOVE it! I’ll share pictures of his room soon (I hope!).

Last night, Knox tried his hardest to walk around in Trevor’s shoes… not only are they way too big, but he also has it on the wrong foot!

And because bed rest wouldn’t be complete without some online shopping, you have to see what I bought for Brody on Etsy!! It’s so cute, I can’t stand it. I’m planning on using this “outfit” for his birth announcements.

Have a great Wednesday!

{ 8 comments }

Two

by Jessica on January 16, 2012

Exactly two years ago today, at 7:08 a.m., Knox Compton was born into this world… and burst into my heart. I never could have known how my life would change at the sound of his first cry, or how my heart would feel so full that it hurt when I held him in my arms. I do know now, that he is the best and most amazing gift that I have ever been given. To be his mother is to know true love in its finest and purest form- there is nothing like it. That little boy has my whole heart in the palm of his tiny hand.

At two years old, Knox:

- Is 30 pounds, 35 inches tall and has a really big head (20.5 inches). :)

- Wears size 2T clothes and a size 7 shoe.

- Is slowly getting over his picky stage- his favorite things to eat are grilled cheese sandwiches, chicken nuggets/ fingers, cheese quesadillas, pizza, chicken and dumplings, spaetzle, spaghetti, apple pancakes, yogurt, all fresh fruit, fruit/ veggie pouches, Annie’s macaroni and cheese (only the purple box!), cereal bars, cookies of any kind, cheese crackers, baked potatoes with cheese and he really likes to snitch french fries or chips from our plates- I guess that’s more appetizing than the fruit we make him get!

- Loves milk! He drinks three cups a day, and it’s pretty much the only time of day where he’ll let you cuddle and hold him, so I take full advantage of it!

- Is getting proficient at using a fork, but still hates spoons!

- Is making progress in talking and seems to be finally taking an interest… sometimes! He says: Daddy (Dee dee), neigh (when you ask what a horse says), shoe, toe, baby, up, uh-oh, OH NO! (he says it very dramatically), and he started to say both “cool”  and “quack quack” today… we’ll see if those stick around!

- Is a great sleeper. He takes a two to three hour nap in the afternoon, then sleeps from around 8 p.m. (he may roll around in bed for an hour before falling asleep on his hyper nights) to 7:30 a.m. A year ago, I never would have believed it when he was waking up every HOUR during the night!

- Sleeps with a blue bear lovie every night, though if he’s dirty, he will allow for us to substitute a Tigger lovie that has the same silky trim. He makes sure it has that silky edge, though!!

- Has eight “full” teeth and is currently working on all four of his molars at once. Three of them are about half-way in. He has been so slow getting teeth, but he takes after his mom on that (I didn’t get my first until I was almost one!). He is sporting some rosy cheeks this week because of those molars!

- Loves to have his teeth brushed. Or at least to suck all the toothpaste off of his toothbrush.

- Loves to run and is rarely caught walking. He also loves to run then pretend to fall- he drops to his knees and waits on a reaction from you before getting up again.

- Is such a boy! He loves trucks, balls and anything that makes a noise.

- Has learned to work my iPhone. Blows my mind to watch him sit there and play the video he wants to watch (namely a video of Trevor dancing to “Ice Ice Baby,” which I have unfortunately been forbidden to show you). He will watch it ten times in a row and absolutely cackle!

- Loves books. We read him at least three books before bed every night, but he still likes to sit by himself and go through a stack of ten to twenty, turning every page and taking it all in.

- Is a total clown. He loves to get a reaction- if you laugh, he’ll keep doing it!

- Is becoming more and more of a Daddy’s boy. He asks for “Dee dee” in the morning and looks around for him when I get him up in the mornings. His days home with Trevor have been so good for him!

- Goes to preschool on Wednesdays and Thursdays for a half-day. He loves it there and starts smiling the second we step out of the car.

- Is extremely talkative! Even though he’s not saying many actual words, he jabbers non-stop. I know once he starts talking, he is going to talk our ears off (I can’t wait!).

- Is very observant. He notices the tiniest details and focuses on things most kids probably wouldn’t. For example, while Trevor and the guys were blowing up his huge bouncy thing at his birthday party, the other kids were interested in the actual jumping contraption and getting inside, but Knox wanted to check out the air intake valve. He has to know how things work! Maybe he’ll be an engineer one day!

- Loves animals, especially giraffes!! Although he does not like the real giraffes at the zoo- one tried to lick him and that was unacceptable!

- Would love to watch TV all day long, but he only gets to watch it in the morning while I get ready. His favorites are “Finding Nemo,” “The Princess and the Frog,” any VeggieTales, Mickey Mouse Club House, Sesame Street or Dora the Explorer.

- Has early intervention once a week to work on his speech, and should be starting with the speech therapist in the next couple weeks.

- His best friend is his Grandpa (Trevor’s dad)- when he’s around, he won’t give anyone else a second glance!

- Is so sweet and loving. He always give me a kiss or a hug when I ask for one, and also offers them up frequently without being asked (at least for me!). He loves to sit next to me and lay his head on my shoulder or my belly. Lately, he really likes me to scratch his back when we snuggle together.

- Hates to have his toenails cut, especially the little toe! My gosh, he acts like I’m trying to rip it off! He wiggles his feet the entire time and acts so uncomfortable with the entire process! I have never cut him, so I don’t know what this is about, other than a general disdain for being held still! That, and it may be genetic because Trevor hates to have his feet touched, too!

- Has become a real troublemaker at the dinner table by pushing off from the table all. the. time. This makes me super nervous at restaurants because I’m so scared the high chair will tip over! It’s also kind of a pain to feed him two feet away from the dinner table.

- Loves to take a bath! He splashes and soaks the poor bath-giver every time… lucky for me, that’s usually Trevor!

- Is obsessed with tags. He can generally be found holding his own tag and walking around the house with his hand down his pants… people always think it’s so funny, but I have to explain his digging for his tag, not his tush!

- Has to come to the bathroom with me EVERY time. If he hears the bathroom door open, you’ll hear his little feet going as fast as they can to catch up with me. Then, he pulls the door closed and talks to me while I pee. LOL.

- Marches in place and squeals when he gets excited.

- Listens pretty well to “no.” If he doesn’t, I just “middle-name” him (Knox Compton!) and he comes running!

- Loves for me to count, sing the ABCs or sing in general. He especially loves “Old McDonald” and will sing the E-I-E-I-Os, but adds a few more “O”s to the end for good measure. :)

- Likes to play “Ring around the Rosie,” but afterwards, he just likes to spin until he falls over! Such a boy!

- Will fake cry to get attention or a reaction.

- Is now holding onto the handrail when he walks down the stairs… this makes me feel much better than the alternative!

- Loves to be outside more than anything- whether it’s running in the grass or swinging at the playground, he’s going to be outdoorsy like his dad.

That’s all I can think of for right now, but I wanted to remember these things that are such a part of his personality right now. Happy Birthday to my sweetest boy, I love you so, so much, Knox!

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