Trevor's Blogging Debut...

Is coming very soon. :) I asked my dear husband if he would be game to do a Q&A post as his intro into the blogosphere, and he reluctantly agreed. (I think he's a little nervous!) So, please comment on this post with your questions for Trevor. Ask anything that you want (really, anything) and he will answer all of your burning questions in his post. Get excited, I know that I am!

AND... sweet Knox is two weeks old today! I can't believe it! He is so, so precious and I am more in love with him than I would have ever thought possible. To celebrate his two week birthday, here are some pictures.

Check out the hair on this kid! I love it!

BFing Update

Our meeting with the lactation consultant went really well. She seems to think that my supply has gone down some because I am not pumping as much and because of Knox's nursing style. Read: Knox's latching on and sleeping style. She says he is what they call a "gourmet" nurser- he takes his time, enjoying everything, looking around, sleeping and takes forever (at least an hour) to nurse. Basically, he's a lazy eater. Since I had such an abundance of milk in hospital, my body got the message when milk was left over in my boobs that it was making too much, so it cut back. Luckily, based on her weight calculations and measurements, I am making just enough for Knox's needs right now. (Though, I have to say, I really miss my huge boobs! They were hot, even though they leaked every time I bent over.)

She weighed him, I fed him on the right side, she weighed him again. He gained less than an ounce. He then ate on the left side and she weighed him again. Much better on his 'favorite" side. He got about 2 and a half ounces total, which is what he needs. She suggested that I feed Knox every two hours during the day, three at night, and pump after each feeding until empty. I need to pump at least 4-5 times a day, according to her, just after feedings. Not much pumping required at the moment, I only get about an ounce after feeding him. She said we just want to make sure to protect my milk supply now, in these early days, so it doesn't continue to wane while we're getting Knox to feed better and more effectively. We have to do a LOT of stimulating him while he's eating by rubbing his head vigorously, ticking his feet, moving his arms, etc. Trevor's new job in life is Baby Head Rubber.

Also, his new "fun" latch (aka the nipple ripper) was a concern for me. My nipples are RAW, red and so painful. She said they'll toughen up soon, in the mean time, I am must making sure he gets on there well and re-adjusting if he slips at all. She gave me some nipple cooling gel pads that stick to your boobs and are lovely. I'm also using Lanisoh, which may be slightly helpful. I am just glad that she seems to think everything will regulate and be okay because breast feeding is so incredibly important to me. I want to do what's best for him, no matter how bad it hurts my nipples!

The medicine is okay to use, according to her, but I don't like that I found it should only be used by infants over one month of age. I think I"ll wait on taking it, as everything down south seems to be calming down. Oddly, it started to improve after I stopped taking Vicodin and switched to a Tylenol (as needed), sitz bath and Tucks pads regimen. Sweet relief.

Thank you guys for all the good advice!!! I really appreciate it!


And here is your daily Knox fix. His first tummy time experience. Not successful.





Trevor couldn't stand it and rescued him within five minutes.

WHAT?!!

What the hell. I woke up yesterday and my boobs had shrunk to about half the size they were the day before. They are no longer firm, they're soft like "normal" boobs. I am not producing as much milk at all. Maybe half of what it was. Is this the breast feeding kind of "normalizing?" I know they won't be engorged and hard forever, but this is seriously freaking me out. I'm pumping after feeding, now, and I am barely getting anything out. I have no idea what happened. Two days ago, I'd hook up to the pump and between both boobs I'd fill the bottle in five minutes. Last night, I got half a bottle in twenty minutes. This is completely freaking me out. Breast feeding is THE most important thing to me. I have a call in to the lactation consultant to try to figure something out. Any words of wisdom to help me not have a coronary??

I started taking Macrobid for the UTI after okaying it with my OB and Knox's pediatrician... do you think this could have done something?

Help.

What in the HELL-O do you do for this insane perineal pain?!! I had a second-degree tear and am at the end of my rope. I am fairly certain that I have a UTI, as well, what an awesome combination. My doctor's office called me in a prescription for the UTI and guess what... bold letters on the bottle said "DO NOT USE IF BREAST FEEDING." Awesome. I called back and sure enough, not safe to use. Now, I am paranoid that any medicine might interfere with Knox's heart meds, so I'm worried to take anything.

Any natural remedies?? I'm doing the peri bottle, Tuck's pads, Sitz baths and Dermaplast spray. Help, help, help!

Bless my husband. (And look how cute my baby is!)

He let me take a five hour nap today. It was heavenly. The days and days of no sleep finally caught up with me last night. I did all of Knox's feedings in the hospital, the nurse in the NICU told me that I was the first mom she has seen in a VERY long time to do all of my baby's feedings in the special care nursery. Well, I can say, it was exhausting, but I couldn't have imagined NOT doing it. Anyway, I have tons of breastmilk in the freezer (I pumped the whole time I was in the hospital) so we prepped a Dr. Brown's bottle for Trevor to feed him with while I slept. I really didn't want to give him a bottle, but like the pediatrician told me this morning, you need sleep to produce lots of good milk, so I went with it. Trevor held Knox the entire nap. He was telling me how he changed his diaper and got poop all over himself (Trevor did his first diaper change EVER in the hospital- somehow I ended up getting peed on... go figure), he's trying so hard to learn, and he is really doing a good job at Daddyhood so far.

We finally got released from the hospital at 6:30 last night, what a long day of too much waiting! His echo came back looking good, and with that, we were out of there.

I felt like I was going to Disney World or something, it was the most amazing feeling to step out of that hospital with our baby in tow.

Knox got his first bath last night, which he despised, to put it mildly. Around bedtime, he started to get all nasal and snorting, which scared the mess out of me. I was terrified he was getting sick. Luckily, the pediatrician squashed that fear this morning. We had our first appointment, and Knox looked great. We go back next Thursday for a weight check since I'm breastfeeding. His billyrubin level went from 12.7 yesterday to 7.6 today, which is amazing, so no worrying about jaundice anymore.

The cardiologist's office is pissing me off, royally. They wouldn't let the NICU schedule our appointment, instead, they said the pediatrician's office had to call them for a referral. Even though this cardiologist was treating Knox via the phone ALL week. Whatever. So, they finally called me to schedule the appointment. The neonatologist said it was of "the utmost importance that Knox is seen this week." So, naturally, the douchebag on the phone scheduled him for NEXT Monday. I don't think so. He argued with me on the phone, wouldn't let me choose the doctor I wanted to see and was generally an asshole. So, I am going to call in the morning and speak with the office manager, and if that doesn't work, I'll have the pediatrician call them and set him straight.

That's all for now, I am going to get back to holding my little man and trying to straighten up the house. I need to get him over his aversion to my right boob, too, because it HURTS even after pumping an entire bottle out of it.

Waiting...

We're in a breast feeding room at the hospital waiting for Knox to get discharged. He is off all of his monitors and hanging out in here with us, which is such a great feeling. The first doctor, Dr. P, that he had in the NICU is back on today. Last week, Dr. G took over. Dr. P is much more aggressive and detail-oriented and was our favorite, so we were glad to have her back. Let's just say she was pretty pissed when she found out that Knox's echo (that had been ordered) had not been done by the other doctor, yet. This meant that instead of going home at noon, we are still sitting here waiting on results.

She felt the echo was not necessary and saw it as a hindrance to our leaving because they will be repeating it at the Cardiologist's office this week, anyway. I see her point. Knox's first visit to the pediatrician is tomorrow morning at 8:15. I LOVE his pediatrician- he was actually my doctor from the time I was six months old until I was, oh, 21. :) I still haven't found a doctor as great as him (but now I have an excuse to go see him, again). He called me this morning to check on Knox and make sure we were scheduling an appointment. He had me call him at home the day Knox was born to give me advice on all of the health issues that were being discussed upon his admittance to the NICU.

I'm not sure when his cardio visit is, yet, the nurses are making it right now. We have his medication all filled and will be giving it to him twice a day for probably six months. It's apparently gross, so we have to mix it with breast milk and give it to him in a nipple- not the most convenient method, luckily I'll be home for a while and should get better at it by the time I have to give it to him outside of the house.
Anyway, the bottom line here is that I am getting impatient and can't wait to get out of here!!

P.S. A week and two days later, my vagina is killing me. These stitches hurt like a bia-tch, I'm always leaking funky stuff and pooping is NOT a pleasant experience. Just so you know. Thank goodness for my Vicodin.

One Week Old Today (and some good news!!)

I cannot believe that an entire week has gone by since Knox was born. In certain aspects, it feels like an eternity has passed since I pushed him out and saw him for the first time, but on the other hand, it doesn't seem right that he is already one week old. He's growing up so fast, already!

I spoke with the doctor this morning, and she talked to the cardiologist, which is what we've been waiting on. He reviewed the results of the halter monitor and, oddly, the results were "normal." They did not pick up the high heart rate that we did in the NICU- their highest recorded heart rate was 209, still high, but not the 250 we were seeing. Regardless, the treatment will be the same. Knox has been given Digoxin (heart medicine) to stop his Tachycardia, and (so far) it seems to have worked. He's received a loading dose by IV, then a few monitoring doses, and today, he is set to start the oral version. He will go home on this medicine and likely take it for six months.

The EKG from two days ago ruled out WPW Disease, which we did not want him to have, so that was great, too. In infants, this Tachycardia generally gets rid of itself. A lot of times, there is a second electrical impulse present in the heart that causes the problem. In Knox's case, however, there is not a secondary impulse present. Long story short, he will come home on the medicine and we will follow up with the cardiologist next week at his office. That's right, at HIS office... this means that...

KNOX IS GOING HOME ON MONDAY!!!

I am thrilled beyond belief and cannot wait to take our little man home. He just got circumcised, the poor guy. He didn't cry when he got back, but when he realized that he was hungry AND had a sore weiner, well, that didn't sit too well with him. He latched on, ate, then slept with my boob in his mouth for half an hour. What a brave boy. :) He will get his Hep B shot, and do the car seat test before we go home. Trevor and I have to watch a few mandatory videos, too, before he gets discharged, so we will do all of that this weekend.

I absolutely can't wait to get him home. I am looking forward to everything when it comes to Knox, and this is the first step in the process. He is doing amazingly well at breast feeding. He is jaundiced, but because he is eating so well, he is pooping like a champ and has brought his jaundice level down enough on his own that he doesn't have to go under any of the lights. The first few days, he would take a while to get comfortable with his latch. He'd latch, then let go, latch, let go, and repeat. The majority of the problem was with my rock hard boobs- they were just so full that he couldn't get a grip. I have found a good system, now, though. I pump for a few minutes on each side before feeding to soften them up, then I pump after he eats just for relief. He generally only eats on one side (there is plenty of milk in just one of these suckers!) so I'll pump the other. Now, he can latch himself with minimal help and goes to town. I am so happy that the breast feeding is going well, and that he enjoys it so much. It is the BEST bonding experience, and I absolutely love to do it. The lactation consultant told me I was born to nurse, and apparently, Knox agrees with her. :)

Here are some more pictures of our incredibly handsome little man. These are from two days ago, I need to get some from today on here, too. And a one week postpartum belly pic, because I know you all want to know about that.

Knox's Birth Story

Knox's birth happened surprisingly fast. So, you guys know how it all started out with the bloody show on Friday night. After calling the doctor, she told me to monitor my contractions for about an hour and a half, and if they got more intense, we'd need to come into the hospital. So, I spent the next two hours walking around the house, straightening up, finishing laundry and sure enough, the contractions were getting more intense. They remained at about two to four minutes apart, just as they had been all day. I called back Dr. L and let her know, so she said to come on in. At this point, Trevor was practically bouncing off the walls with excitement. It was very surreal to be heading to the hospital, although at that point, we didn't know if we'd been staying or coming right back.

We got to the hospital around 9:30 pm and were sent back to L&D Room 5. Our nurse came in, got me into a hospital gown and checked my cervix. I was "a good two." I remember feeling disappointed that I hadn't dilated more, I thought for sure with the bloody show I would have been at least three. The doctor was there seeing some other patients, so the nurse just left us alone. I was having some pretty good back labor at this point, though I could easily talk through them. Dr. L came in and talked to us, telling us that because I was pre-term at 36 weeks 4 days, she could not do anything to help with my labor until it was proven that I was in real labor on my own. That made good sense to me, so she pretty much just said to hang out in the room, keep laboring and she'd be back in an hour to check me and see if I was making progress.

The contractions slowly got stronger and I had to have Trevor apply some counterpressure and massage it for me. It was getting harder and harder to stay still, and I was definitely having to do some deep breathing and squatting to get through them. Luckily, at this point, we had not been officially admitted, so I had no I.V. and was munching on a Pop Tart and drinking water to my heart's content. That worked out pretty well. Because yes, during labor, I did feel hungry! After an hour, Dr. L came back and checked me again, and I had dilated to 3. Progress!

At that point, it had been established I was in labor since my cervix was actively changing, so I went ahead and signed all the paperwork and got admitted. This was just after 1 am. They wanted to go ahead and do my IV, I went ahead and let them do the IV instead of just the hep lock because my contractions were getting stronger, and I wanted to have it just in case I changed my mind about the whole natural thing. I was trying to be practical and cover all my bases. Lying in bed, though, did make the back labor feel much worse and was so much harder to control. The most comfortable position to labor in was squatting with Trevor massaging my lower back. The back labor guys, I cannot even tell you, it really is horrible. My doctor told me straight up "Back labor... it's the worst." Every single contraction that came, all of the pain was concentrated on my lower back, and when you're laying on your back, it's kind of hard to get to the area to massage it. The comfort measures that helped me the most were the lower back massage, position change, and once I was in bed, a cold cloth on my face and ice chips.

As the contractions increased, so did the pain level. It does get to the point where you cannot talk during them, and you really have to get in the zone so that you can mentally get through them. By 2 am, I had reached 4 centimeters, 90% effaced and was still at zero station. At this point, the doctor said she'd like to break my water and could get me started on Pitocin. I okayed breaking the water but said no to Pitocin because I didn't want to cause the baby undue stress with those artificially strong contractions when I didn't need to. So, she broke my water, which does not hurt, you don't feel it at all, but you feel this huge rush of warm, jucuzzi-temperature water gushing out all over the place. You will be not be dry for the rest of this process, just so you know. I asked just before they broke my water, "just in case, when would I be able to get an epidural?" They said I could have one whenever I wanted since I was already in very active labor.

This is where things started to really move.

I knew that breaking my water would increase the strength of the contractions significantly. What I did not realized, was that the increase would be instantaneous and beyond the realm of comprehension, pain-wise. Literally seconds after my water broke, my body was rocked with the most intense, horrific pain that I could even imagine. I still had the back labor, but it was at least 20 times worse, and I also felt the contractions in the front. It was AWFUL. Nothing I did stopped it. I tried to roll over, instinctively, to let Trevor massage my back, but found that I couldn't move because that made it worse. All I got out to Trevor was "Help." I sobbed. There was nothing I could do. None of the breathing techniques I learned, no amount of moving around, nothing. It was then that thoughts of a natural birth flew out of my head at lightening speed. And you know what? I don't even feel bad about it. I am glad that I waited until after my water broke, because now I know what I was "missing" by getting an epidural. I had two of these bitch contractions before I said "I want the epidural right now."

Bless that anesthesiologist. He got there in ten minutes and was prepping me for the epi at 2:10 am. They're right when they say if you are worried about the epidural, you're not in real labor. They could have sawed my head off at that point, and if it would have helped stop that pain, I would have been totally fine with it. The anesthesiologist was really good about pausing when I had a contraction, he wasn't one of those jerks that made you deal with it while he stabbed you. I was having a contraction about every minute and a half at that point. He swabbed my back with cold iodine stuff, then inserted the numbing medication. They warn you it will burn, and it really was not bad. I said "Ow, ow" and that was it. Of course, all the while, Trevor is waiting outside like they made him, and I am hugging the nurse crying during each contraction. She was the best nurse ever, truly. After the numbing shot, I literally felt nothing he was doing back there. Not even a sensation of what he was doing. Then, he taped up my whole back. I felt a total of five contractions from the time my water broke until that marvelous epidural kicked in, so it happened really fast. I felt NOTHING. Let's just say it was a picture perfect epidural, I have zero complaints.

Shortly after the epidural, the doula, Linda, showed up. I felt bad that I was kind of boring for her since I had the epidural, but she was really awesome. She brought me a popsicle because I was a little bit hungry, she got me ice, fixed my pillows and just made me feel really comfortable. She also wrote down every single detail of the birthing experience, which is how, five days later, I remember what time all of these things happened! At 4:10 am, the doctor checked me again and I was at 5 centimeters. She suggested that Trevor and I lay down and take a nap or just relax because it would be a long evening. Not quite. :)

I woke up at 6:05 am, and Dr. L checked me again. She said "Oh wow. You just have a little anterior lip, and you're at +2 station. We're ready to push." She pulled out her gloved hand, paused and said "You know what, let me just check that again because that's crazy." It was pretty unbelievable how fast I had progressed. Trevor and I were still bleary eyed from sleeping and it was a little hard to digest. I felt like it was a dream at that point as they took off the bottom of the bed and got the room ready for delivery. it was so surreal. Trevor's face was like a deer in headlights, he could not believe what was happening. It all of a sudden felt really real. We were about to have a baby! I started to push at 6:40 am. The epidural, once again, was amazing. I felt nothing as I pushed, but during the first one, it became clear that it wasn't going to take long. The doctor, nurse and doula were thrilled with my pushing, telling me what a great job I was doing. At this point, Trevor was comfortably up near my head and looking at me. He rubbed my head the whole time I pushed. He was truly awesome throughout the entire labor and delivery process.

After a few pushes, Dr. L said "This baby has a TON of hair!" She asked me if I wanted to see with a mirror, but I had started to get a little nauseated before pushing ( just nerves) so I said no. She asked Trevor and he looked a little green. She promised him that there was no blood or anything gross, just that you could see his head and hair. So, Trevor looked and was very excited. That was the dose of bravery he needed, I think. He never got down in there or anything but he was comfortable watching more from then on. They told me when to look down to see his head, but my belly was still too big to see over. At 7:08 am on January 16, after only 28 minutes of pushing, Knox Compton was born. I watched the doctor pull him out, and the second she put him on my stomach, crying, I was in love. I sobbed from the moment I saw him emerge, and I could barely see him through the tears. Trevor cried, too, at the sight of our son, and it was hands-down the best moment of my entire life. Trevor cut the cord and I held him, all bloody and goopy, and had never been happier. I kissed his little vernix-covered face and stared. He had a ton of hair, that was for sure, and he looked exactly like Trevor.

They carried him over the scale to weigh him, 7 pounds and 5 ounces. He was 20.5 inches long. Trevor got to hold him for the first time while they stitched up my second degree tear. I didn't feel that, either, thankfully. The three of us cuddled together, enjoying the first moments of our family life. I can honestly say, that I would do it a million times over for him (even without any pain medication!). He is the most precious, amazing little person, and I fall more in love with him each second of the day. I thank God for blessing me with the precious gift of being his mother.

The doula and I (with my popsicle)


Prepping for delivery:


Knox being delivered by Dr. L:


Trevor cutting the cord:


Crying my eyes out the first time I saw him:


Big boy! 7lbs 4.7 oz


Trevor holding his son for the first time:


All that I need in the world:

Bad Day, Good Day

This experience has been such an emotional rollercoaster. You go from one happy moment to one terrifying one, and it is so scary and incredibly draining. Tuesday night, I was in the nursery with Knox when his heart rate shot up to 250. After a few minutes, it had not dropped and our nurse got on the phone and got instructions from the doctor to put ice on Knox's face. Sure enough, this shocked him back into his normal heart pattern. So, in a second, not only were we dealing with his PDA and oxygen issues, but this new Tachycardia was added into the mix. It was terrifying to see that monitor with such high numbers. We hoped it would be a stand alone incident, but sure enough, he did it again later that night and again yesterday afternoon.

This new problem earned Knox a halter monitor, which he has to wear for 24 hours. After he is finished, the report will be sent to the pediatric cardiologist to see if he can figure out the problem. Hopefully, this is normal infant preemie stuff where there are just too many conflicting electrical impulses trying to communicate in the heart. Yesterday was an absolutely horrible day, with all of the irregular heart beats, plus, he got bumped back up to 45% oxygen and we just felt that all progress had been halted. Sitting there holding him, looking at the beautiful face, but knowing that something wasn't working right was the worst feeling. It was another one of those sobbing days. Too much new information, too many visitors, too many phone calls, I felt like I was drowning. I also got discharged, so that made it harder. Luckily, there are breast feeding rooms adjacent to the special care nursery that we are allowed to spend the night in since we're in there at least every three hours caring for Knox.

Then, last night, things took a turn for the better. All of a sudden, Knox kept hitting 100% oxygen concentration on his monitor. We kept lowering it and lowering it until by this morning, he is on room air! It was the BEST night last night and we were there to witness this miraculous improvement. The doctor told us that with his high urine output, chances were that he was getting rid of all of that fluid in his lungs yesterday and is now able to absorb oxygen like he should. He is also doing an amazing job at breastfeeding. This was another obstacle he had to clear, so I was so relieved that he latched on the first time (even though he preferred to lick my nipple like a lollipop as opposed to actually eating). Each time, he's gotten better and better at it. Poor thing, though, my boobs are so massive and hard that he is having a hard time getting them into his mouth. As our nurse said "Geez, Mom, it's like trying to suck on the side of a grapefruit!" By massaging them during nursing, they seem to soften enough to help him out. I seem to have a ton of milk and it just starts spurting out when I am next to him. This is a very good thing (though I have already soaked through several shirts!).

We are basically waiting on getting the Tachycardia settled, but he has completed his other tasks, which is great. I am off to go breast feed again, then walk over to my doctors office because I am fairly positive that my stitches from delivery are infected. I had a second degree tear, and things don't seem quite right down there, today.

We are trying to be as positive as possible and hope that this tachycardia will get under control so Knox can come home very soon. Until then, we are blessed to be in such a great nursery with such awesome nurses that care so much about our little guy.

ETA: Stitches are not infected. FYI, the locchia that comes out after birth can change from red to yellow, and that's normal.
Also, yes, I do pump to help with the breast feeding. I pump for a few minutes before feeding him to help with engorgement, and for a few after to finish emptying me out enough to stand it. I pumped a lot the first few days, every two hours, to help the milk come in, and man did it work!

Knox Update

So, here we are on our fourth day in the hospital, and Knox is making good progress. He is still in the special care nursery (NICU), but he has had his CPAP removed and now has only a small nasal canula to receive his oxygen through. He is much happier with this arrangement, considering he liked to rip out the CPAP at least once an hour. He got his umbilical line removed today, as well. They had put this line in through his umbilical artery and it went up to his heart. This is how they drew blood for his blood gas tests. He is all done with those tests, now, as he had three good ones in a row.

They let him eat for the first time today, he had just been on IV fluids before. I have been pumping and my milk started to come in today (hello, giant boobs) so that was very good timing. I am still just getting about half an ounce out of each boob per pumping session, but that's how much they're giving him, so it works out. He digested all of the milk at his first feeding, which is great, so he's getting more every three hours. They let me change his diaper and take his temperature today, too. They're great here, and do their best to make you feel comfortable. My doctors have been awesome, since I was really supposed to get discharged yesterday, of treating my "problems" to keep me here with Knox for longer. Yesterday, I got laxatives since I hadn't gone to the bathroom, yet. Today I was having some "pains" and had to get a shot of Demerol. Small price to pay, I think, to stay here with our baby for longer!

The best part of the day was holding him! I got to hold him for about 15 minutes at 3 a.m. after he got weighed, but got to hold him for a good couple hours this afternoon. He was so much happier being held by me that being in his isolette. He is a very feisty little guy and he lets you know when he's mad (which is often), but he was so peaceful and sleeping when I held him. Trevor went to work today because he wants to reserve his days off for when Knox is at home. He gets to hold him when we got back to the nursery. They close for an hour and a half three times a day for shift changes.

Thank you guys so much for all the prayers and well-wishes. It means the world to us! I know those prayers have gone to work and helped Knox progress.

I leave you with some pictures of our little man, I will take more tonight since you can see his little face, now, without all that stuff all over it.

Knox is Here! And already causing drama.

Knox Compton was born on Saturday, January 16 at 7:08am. He weighed 7lbs 5oz and was 20.5 inches long. He is the most beautiful little person I have ever seen. To say that Trevor and I are madly in love is the understatement of the century. He has tons of dark hair, just like me, and has Trevor's gorgeous lips.

We haven't uploaded our pictures, yet, but luckily Lindsey had some on her blog. Here is a preview:





I have endless amounts of information to share with you guys, so the birth story will have to wait until another time. For now, this is what's going on.

After he was born, we held him for about an hour before they took him to the special care nursery for his mandatory six hour monitoring (since he was born before 37 weeks). The nurses taught me how to clean myself up a bit, and I headed down to the nursery to visit Knox, who was with Trevor. The second I got down there, I was approached by the neonatologist who said "Okay Mom, now that you're here, we have some problems." Talk about the scariest words I have ever heard. She proceeded to talk at us for about half an hour about Knox's blood oxygen levels being low, fluid in his lungs and that something may be wrong with his heart. Basically, his oxygen level in his tissues (they check that with the little light they strap on your finger) wasn't correlating with the gas levels in his blood. His oxygen level in his tissues were fine, but low in his blood. They were concerned because Knox looked so good, so this difference didn't make much sense.

AFter going through several stressful courses of action, they finally did an Echocardiogram and figured out that Knox has PDA, Patent Ductus Arteriosis, which means that one of his heart valves did not close on its own before birth, which is not uncommon in preemie babies. This should be taken care of by a course of medication, so we are very hopeful that he will be home within a week, hopefully sooner. He is on his second dose and has already improved. They no longer hear a murmur in his heart this morning, and his breathing is better and more relaxed. He is on oxygen, and they are slowly weaning his levels down so he can get off of the supplementation soon.

This is a lot of information, but I think I mentioned most of what's important. The first day, his birthday, was awful. It went from the best moment of my life to the very worst, in about the span of two hours. I did nothing but sob for that entire day, and still, every time I leave the NICU, I cry. It's so hard to see the love of your life lying in an isolette hooked up to so many tubes and needles. We haven't been able to hold him, yet, and I am currently pumping every two hours so he can have colostrum. They're not feeing him, yet, but are swabbing his mouth with the colostrum so he can receive those antibodies. Hopefully, he will be off oxygen soon so he can breastfeed and get held. I was supposed to be released today, but my doctor is letting me stay another day. I dread the thought of leaving him, even for a minute, in this hospital by himself.

We are feeling much better now that he is improving fairly quickly, and we hope to have him 100% healthy very soon. He looks wonderful and is very wiggly, so he seems healthy, which makes it harder to see him in there. We love him so much, and we would appreciate any prayers you can send our way. I promise to update more soon, and post some pictures of the world's most gorgeous baby!

Well, that happened fast!

You know how my doctor said that I'd probably have a bloody show because of Knox's head position? Well, she was right, and I just did. Let me assure anyone that is waiting to go into labor, there is really no mistaking the bloody show. You can't be like "oh, I think that's it." It's not. You'll know it when it is... trust me. I went to the bathroom, wiped and saw a glob of mucus with brown blood streaked through it. It was so funny because I just got through talking to Trevor on the phone about it. He walked through the door and I was like "remember what I was just talking to you about?" He proceeded to yell excitedly and jump around before packing his hospital bag (even though I told him it could still be a couple days, technically). He's so excited. :)

That was about 5:30. I thought that was it, but nope, at about 7:00, I went to the bathroom again and felt what seemed to be a string when I wiped. Nope, not a string, just an at-least-three-inches-long strand of mucus and more bloody stuff. Gag. I called the doctor, per her instructions, and she said to keep an eye on the contractions and if they intensify over the next hour and a half, to head to the hospital.

Is this really happening right now?!!

My contractions are close together, but they have been all day, at a few minutes apart, so the intensity is really the only thing that means anything at this point. I *think* they're getting stronger, but I may do a few laps around the house to see if that kicks things into high gear. I am excited, but scared to death at the same time. If I don't update tomorrow, then you know where I am. I would appreciate your prayers and good thoughts!

Maybe this weekend? Eep!

So, I am back from the doctor's office. Luckily (or unluckily, whichever way you want to look at it) once I was hooked up the NST, my contractions and backache started up. I saw this as a good thing so the doctor could see what I was dealing with. It's always good when the nurse comes back into look at the monitor and says "Are you okay?" I was contracting every couple of minutes, and I have to say, trying to deal with that back pain while sitting upright strapped to monitors... not the most comfortable thing. Especially since Knox decided that moment was the perfect time to scrunch up all on my left side and bury his feet in my ribs. At least he was moving around, and his part of the test strip looked great.

It was super busy in there today, so I had to wait a while to get into an exam room. The nurse left the door cracked and let me know there were people right outside the door if I needed anyone. She looked at me like I may burst apart at any moment. Of course, once I got into the exam room, the contraction pain stopped. The doctor came in, we chatted about what was going on and she checked me. I have not dilated anymore, still 1-2 cm, BUT she said "Wow, his head is really pressing on your cervix. You're at zero station. And I rarely tell anyone they're at zero." Then she hit me with "I wouldn't be surprised if you went into labor this weekend." Uh, wow. She did tell me that she probably jinxed me by saying that, but that's her guess.

She told me that it's going to be really hard for me to tell when I am in labor because I have been contracting for so long. She said that once I can't talk through contractions, it's the real deal. She said to call if I was unsure, though. The doctor also said she expects that when I do go into labor, I will progress very well due to how low his head is and how I have been contracting thus far, so that's a good thing. Of course, I'm to call if my water breaks or have bloody show, which she guesses that I will have due to how his head is pushing on my cervix. So, that's that. Maybe he'll be here this weekend? Maybe not? One thing is for certain: I need a glass of wine right about now!

P.S. Preparation H does not win any points with me. I am not impressed.

P.P.S. I am totally freaked out!

Off to the doctor...

So, after the original "false labor" episode, I assumed I was in for more fun. Sure enough, I was right. On the way home yesterday, I started to have contractions every 4-5 minutes, cramping and horrible back pain. I seriously wondered whether I would make it home because my back was hurting so bad. Thankfully, I did so without getting into a wreck. I got in the shower (just in case) and after a while, it stopped again. Last night, same thing. I woke up every hour with regular contractions, back pain and cramping, and it stopped at around 5:30 when I finally gave up and got out of bed. If I am still for more than an hour, it starts up. I called the doctor's office about it this morning just to hear that it is really false labor, and instead of just saying "yes, it is" they are having me come into get monitored. My least favorite doctor is on-call today, which sucks, but hopefully they can tell me something about what's going on. And, maybe they can give me something for this massive hemorrhoid that has taken over my butt hole, while I'm there. The fact that I have had diarrhea for a full day hasn't helped that sucker shrink. And yes, I know loose stools are a sign of impending labor, but at the moment, they are a sign of pain in my rectal region. I'll let you guys know what's up when I find out. Happy Friday!

No progress. But lots of contractions.

I had my 36 week appointment yesterday, complete with internal. I completely expected to hear the doctor tell me that I had dilated more and was completely effaced... uh, wrongo. "You're almost 2 centimeters, 80% thinned out and at -2 station" = EXACTLY the same. Damn. I think being told over and over again by the doctors that Knox is a-okay to make his debut whenever he wants has lulled me into the assumption that he would be early, and I think that, my friends, is a dirty tease. I know that 37 weeks is technically full-term, but I myself was born at 36 weeks, so maybe I foolishly assumed that Knox would take after his mommy and come early. Plus, I am thinking of my poor vagina should this little boy hold out until my due date- by estimations, he will weigh over nine pounds at that point, and I am not even going to pretend that would be fun to push out with no drugs. As my dear bff Lindsey said, "Rest in peace, va-jay-jay." Rest in pieces, is more like it. Regardless, I want Knox to be as healthy as possible when he does decide to come, so he can stay put for as long as he needs to (but, please, Knox, don't rip Momma's vagina wide open! There is a shiny, new Jeep waiting for you when you turn 16 if you're a good boy).

One new thing did come out of the appointment, though. No more Terbutaline! Yay! I have long since gotten used to the side effects of the medicine, but I still hated to take it. Although, the reality of not having any relief from these gazillion contractions made itself apparent last night during the most painful night of sleep ever. I woke up every hour last night having contractions. Not just little, tight contractions, but painful contractions complete with horrific back pain and cramping. No position helped relieve the discomfort, and I certainly could not sleep through them. I couldn't tell how far apart they were because the stabbing backache and cramping would not subside between them, so they kind of masked the actual contracting sensation. I think every 8-10 minutes, though. So, I would lie there awake and squirming for the three hours or so I was contracting, wondering if I was going into labor or not. Then, they'd stop completely. What the heck is that about? Is that false labor? If it is, let me tell you, it sucks and makes you scared for the real thing!

I think Trevor gets secretly excited when I tell him "I had a horrible night's sleep. I was having painful contractions all night!" He tries to act all concerned and sorry for me, but you can tell in his head that he's yelling "Woo hoo! Knox is totally coming today!" He has started the guessing game, as well. Apparently I am either having Knox on the 16th (this Saturday) or sometime during the 38th week. So says my psychic husband. The way I see it, this poor baby is going to get sick of being squeezed all day every day and just say "Screw this, I'm outta here!" sometime very soon.

I think idiots seek me out.

So yesterday, all of two days back to work, and I get exposed to a highly contagious virus. Awesome. This moron that "works" with us (notice that work is in quotation marks... this is because I don't think he does anything at all and only comes in to pick up paychecks that he is busy not earning) dropped in yesterday. His newborn daughter had just been in the hospital for FIVE days with RSV. He starts telling us about it and says "Yeah, that's what I have. ::coughs, hacks, etc:: It's highly contagious." I just blankly stare and him and say "Well, get away from me." He looked at me like I was kidding, so I pulled out my mini-Lysol from my purse (yes, I carry mini Lysol in case I am bombarded by germy kooks) and proceeded to create a Lysol cloud around my desk. He walked into another office where he proceeded to hack his RSV germs all over the place. I went into my mom's office and shut the door, spraying Lysol behind me. She called my stepdad (my boss), told him what was happening, and he promptly kicked the idiot out.

I cannot tell you how pissed off I was. What kind of a fucking idiot comes into an office with someone who is nine months pregnant and spreads that kind of illness? I just don't get it. All I need is to catch that, go into labor and give it to Knox. For those of you that don't know, RSV is a very contagious respiratory virus that is highly dangerous to premature babies and newborns. I think I should be okay because not only was I surrounded by the protective cloud of Lysol, but my co-workers and I Cloroxed every surface in the office as soon as he left, since RSV can live on surfaces for five hours. I just hope I didn't breathe in any of his contaminated cough. Stupid idiot.

Knox's Nursery!

As promised, here are pictures of the finished nursery! We absolutely love the way that it came out. It's a very chill and relaxing room, and we hope that Knox likes it as much as we do!

The crib:


Bedding:


Puff rocker and Palm Tree (I do need to get a small black table to go between the tree and the chair- that's on the agenda for this weekend (if I'm still pregnant)):


Dresser (PACKED full, might I add) and his surfing artwork:


Organized closet:


As you walk in:


Blankets and cloth diaper storage inside the dresser:



We also got the car seat installed last night, and let me just say, it is WEIRD driving around with it in the back seat! (But pretty exciting!) I am 36 weeks pregnant today, and this is one of the only shirts I have that still covers my entire belly. And it's very itchy.

Ah, yes. The insane pregnant lady.

That's me. This weekend, I was laughed at by my husband and brother when they came in from outside and found me scrubbing the vent on the bottom of the refrigerator. (FYI- clean that sucker! It's gross!) I guess full-fledged nesting is underway because I can't clean enough to satisfy my urge. I scrubbed down all of the kitchen cabinets, stovetop, baseboards, doors, washing machine and dryer and bathroom floors in addition to my normal cleaning routine of straightening, dusting, sweeping, mopping and vacuuming. I was definitely tired, but it was well worth it. At least, until someone messes up something I have meticulously cleaned.

Case in point: eggs cooked onto the glass stovetop. If any of you have a flat top stove, you know what a pain in the everlovingass it is to clean them when something gets cooked on or stuck. You have to use the special scrubby pad and special cleaning goo to get it off. After already having done this on Saturday, I was less than amused to find part of Trevor's breakfast stuck to the stove this morning. It makes me itch to think about it.

And it's not only husband that can offend the nesting instinct. Dogs can screw up, too. Abby decided to carry little piles of her dog food around the living room this morning and leave them scattered around. Nothing like little bits of slobbery food on the clean floor to get your pregnant hormones in a tizzy. She had no clue why I was yelling at her this morning, and I am nearly positive that she did not "Clean this mess up immediately you *!@$# dog!!!" as instructed.

Trevor did not finish his to-do list, even though he promised me he would have it done by yesterday. The car seat (only the most important item!!) is still not installed because he didn't feel like vacuuming the car out first (that's okay, enjoy the guilt trip I lay on you when I vacuum it out myself on the way home from work today, dear) and the surfboard is not hung on the wall. ROAR. It wouldn't upset me if I hadn't spent the whole weekend cleaning and getting ready for the baby and he had not adamantly professed that it would be done by Sunday (not to mention that he had enough to time to go to the driving range, play video games and play with fire outside in the fire pit).

Labor Watch 2010:
I started to get my normal tons of contractions last night, so I took a Terbutaline and... it didn't do anything! I was starting to wonder if this was it, but by the time I went to bed, they had tapered off. I have started to have a lot more cramping and lower back aches with the contractions, so maybe that means something? I am 36 weeks tomorrow and have another appointment on Wednesday.

By the way, I am back at work. It sucks. Pregnant people shouldn't have to do anything but lay on the couch.

Ow.

Maybe it's a mental thing, but now that I know I am 1-2 centimeters dilated, 80% effaced and that Knox's head is low, I swear I have been getting more painful contractions and cramps. The contractions don't necessarily hurt more, but his head is so low down, my cervix is constantly getting pinched. And the new thing this week is cramping. I haven't had a lot of that until now, and they are like period cramps but hurt more. As of yet, they go away when I take a Terbutaline pill. My doctor says that if I am in true labor, a pill will not work anymore, so I will see if that's the case. I am guessing they'll let me stop taking the meds next week at my 36 week appointment. He is also moving a lot, and now that I know he weighs 6lbs 9oz (or thereabouts), I feel like he is just huge. I know he's running out of room because I feel him stretching with his hands on my pelvic bone and his feet on my ribs. Poor kid, he's so squished!

I am not looking forward to going back to work on Monday. I do not have much stamina, and I am more uncomfortable than I have been before. I am only going back part-time, though, so hopefully it will be okay. AND I hate to wear clothes! The best part of bed rest was wearing pajamas all day long. Plus, barely any of my clothes fit anymore. Oh well. I'll just be an outfit repeater.

I think Knox has dropped some, at least from my own observation in the mirror this morning. I don't know, maybe I'm imagining things. And how cute is my dog that had to see what was going on? LOL, I love her (most of the time).



And I have been getting a bizarre new thing. Noise coming from my belly. It's happened four times in the past week, a popping or clicking noise comes from my stomach. It doesn't hurt, in fact I don't feel it at all, and it only happens when Knox is super active. I left a message for the nurse this morning, and the doctor called me back. She said it's probably Knox popping gas bubbles, so she has me taking Gas-X every three hours through the weekend to see if that solves it. I hope that's all it is, because that is something that is weird enough to really freak you out!

I am going to try my best to get everything else taken care of this weekend so I can get some sleep at night! I wake up in the middle of the night thinking of all the things I have to do before he gets here. I want to clean the house really thoroughly, build the swing, set up the pack and play downstairs and install the car seat. Most of these things are on Trevor's to-do list, which is why they're not done, yet (men have a much different sense of urgency than women, I have discovered), but this weekend is definitely the deadline! I will have a panic attack if I go into labor and this stuff isn't done! Although, I'm pretty sure when I go into labor, I will have a panic attack, anyway.

ETA: The Chicco play yard is a pain in the ass to assemble... especially when they forget to include your directions. You should have heard Trevor trying to fasten the toggle and loops to get the bassinet attachment on. Something about this not being WWII, having the use of screws and such in the modern day and stupid German engineering. Chicco is not a German company, but I wasn't going to tell him that at the time (I think he was running with the WWII theme). Oh well, at least it's finished. Now I am standing guard with the spray bottle because the cats keep trying to get underneath/ inside of it.

What Everyone is Afraid to Tell You About Pregnancy: Part TWO

It seems that you guys take real joy in reading about all the gross and random junk that comes with pregnancy, and I aim to please. Here, for your reading pleasure are more tidbits of knowledge to arm you on your journey. (If you missed part one, look down two posts.)

6. Shaving your ladybits turns into an extreme sport. It has all the makings of an ESPN special: You can't see your target, you are at risk of amputating very necessary parts, you move in ways to rival a contortionist and sometimes there is blood and yelling involved. A new extreme sport? Nope, just some routine landscaping. The day will arrive (much sooner than you think) where you are no longer able to see the forest beyond the trees... err, belly. At first, you learn to become very bendy and peer around the massive stomach. Then, you have to start propping your foot up on the side of the bathtub and pray while you try to perform your task with only about 30% visibility. Finally, you are forced to just feel around and pray you don't cut off your labia in the process. Yes, some of you may say "Why not just let it go? Be natural!" Yeah... that "situation" is not natural. It's frightening. So, in order to save yourself from 70's quality bush, you will be forced to get creative.

7. Your toilet paper consumption singlehandedly destroys at least one acre of forest per month. (At least I buy "green" recycled toilet paper. I had to do it, the guilt kept me up at night.) You know that pregnant women pee. A LOT. However, nothing can possibly prepare you for the end of the third trimester where you will pee literally every 15 minutes. Sometimes, you even pee, stand up, exit the bathroom and realize... "Shit. I have to pee again." So you do, and the process repeats itself. We go through double the toilet paper we went through pre-pregnancy. Now that I'm on bedrest, it's gone up even more. My office building bore the costs of my daytime potty breaks before that. I feel like all I do is re-load the toilet paper holder. Although, this isn't bad news for all parties... If your dog is anything like my trashcan-raiding Abby, they will be in hog heaven swiping endless TP rolls from the bin and shredding them into bits behind your couch.

8. You will get pimples in ridiculous places. In the beginning, you will break out on your face ala a 14-year old Jonas Brothers lover with braces. It will be rough. When your face begins to clear up, you'll think "Yes! It's over!" You fool. It's not over and those zits are not gone... they have merely migrated to more random territory. My breakouts spread quickly from my face onto my boobs and stomach. This gave me great access for popping. Popping didn't solve anything, however, I was merely covered with red scabs rather than red bumps. This past week, I discovered a patch of no less than 20 pimples on my left shoulder. Only the left. I have no idea what happened, but all I know is that I popped one and green pus came out. I was disgusted. They're almost gone, now, but I know they haven't truly vanished... they're waiting to come out of hiding in someplace new.

9. Your OB/gyn will see more of your vagina than your husband. I know there are some women that get hornier with pregnancy due to excessive blood flow to the "area," but I was not one of those people. I hoped that I would be, I really did, but no such luck. And it doesn't matter how great your sex drive was pre-pregnancy, because it will be zero (unless you're one of those other women, then it may be off the charts). It's not that pregnant sex doesn't feel good because it does. It feels EXCELLENT. A pregnant orgasm is way better than any you have felt before. Although, with a pregnant orgasm comes a contraction, which isn't all that fun. AND no matter how you position yourself, you feel fat. Because you are fat. Really, really fat. On one of our last "encounters" I almost burst out laughing because no matter where Trevor put his hands, they always seemed to inadvertently wander back to my stomach. And the second he would touch the belly, he'd realize what he was touching and then pull away like his hands were on fire. Poor guy.

10. You become territorial. This one came straight from my poor husband who has not been able to sit on our couch for eight long months. When you are pregnant, especially when you get huge, it is very hard to get comfortable. No matter which way you turn, there is always some part that is aching, swollen or going numb. One of the only comfy positions is lying on your side. How the heck can I lie on my side in a chair? I can't, so that leaves me with one option: the couch. This means that your husband may never get to prop his feet up and take a nap while watching football during your pregnancy, but you know what? He is still skinny, and he will get over it. The situation gets worse in bed. You can't lay on your back because 1) you're not allowed and 2) you can't breathe that way. I discovered early on that making myself a recliner out of pillows was one of the only comfortable ways to get to sleep. This requires no less than five pillows, plus the pillow I keep under the covers to go between my knees. If your husband makes a grab for one of these pillows because "his neck hurts" or "he can't see the TV," bless his heart because you will get very, very angry at him. Trevor asked me for another pillow one time. He didn't ask again after that. And God bless him if his foot EVER crosses the imaginary line in the center of the bed and he infringes on "your side." There will be blood.

11. You eat everything. EVERYTHING. Trevor contributed to this one, too, saying "You eat all the desserts because you're 'eating for two!'" In my defense, I have only used this excuse once when homemade brownies made by my chef aunt were involved. We had three of them, I gave one to Trev and ate two. Well, I ate one, and Knox ate one. See how that works? They can't get mad that the baby ate one. But in all honesty, you will suddenly NEED to eat something you could not have cared less about before pregnancy. For example, I do not like sweets. Really. I could go forever without a piece of chocolate cake and be none the worse for wear. How, then, do I explain my newfound ability to eat 15 cookies in one sitting? Knox LOVES sweets. He can't get enough of them, which means, I have to eat them so he can have what he wants. One of the many sacrifices you will make for your future baby.

Note:
When this pregnancy is over, I am going to give Trevor a trophy and a special surprise because it seems that I have thoroughly abused him. I'm sure he would say "Screw the trophy, just give me a pillow, a brownie and some sex." I just may have to do that.

Proof that I have not always monopolized the couch:

I've been sprung!

From bed rest, that is. I had another doctor's appointment today and there were definitely some changes to note. Firstly, I am now 1-2 centimeters dilated and 80% effaced (up from last time where I was a "tight 1" and 50%). Also, his head is no longer high... it's low, although she didn't tell me what station. Then, she checked his heart rate with the doppler and it was way high in the 190s. She said she probably just caught him in an acceleration, but she had me get hooked up to my old pal, the NST, just to be sure.

His heart rate was back in the normal range of the 150s, but then he only had one acceleration, and he should have had about three in that period of time. So, off to ultrasound for a BPP (Biophysical Profile) to check on our little trouble maker. Apparently, he was just sleeping in the NST because he passed his BPP "with flying colors" according to the u/s tech. He was moving around like crazy and everything looked wonderful.

She took measurements to get his weight and he is measuring in at 6lbs9oz. He's a big boy, already! She said if I held on until my due date, he would be upwards of NINE POUNDS! My side of the family breeds big babies, they're always over 9 pounds unless they're early. Yowch. I think after today's appointment, that Knox could literally come at any time, now. My doctor said that with the steroids I was given in the hospital, if he was born now, he should do great. She said 35 weekers with steroids are generally good, but some have trouble regulating their body temperature, so he would have to be monitored in the special care nursery. I am only taking Terbutaline as needed, basically to let me know if my contractions are real or not. If I am in real labor, the meds won't do anything, so there you go.

I keep waking up in the middle of the night to go pee, and I can't go back to sleep because I cannot turn off my brain. I have so many little things to finish before he gets here, so you better believe that this weekend will be dedicated to getting it all finished! I have started to have more weird pains and discomforts and can definitely tell the change as I'm nearing the end of this pregnancy... it's so weird (and kind of scary) to think that I could have a baby REALLY soon!

(OH, and more truths about pregnancy are to come later today!)

Here is a pic of my wonderful husband and I on New Years Day- he looked all cute, and I was a total bum. Oh well, I have a big baby under my shirt, so I guess I have a good excuse.

What Everyone is Afraid to Tell You About Pregnancy.

In my quest to be fully open about pregnancy, I feel that I owe it to the world to reveal the truth about incubating a baby. There are just some things that the fluffy, giddy pregnancy books fail to mention, and personally, I would have liked to have known this stuff before I experienced it. Keep in mind, these things are what happened to me, and every woman and pregnancy is different, but you, too, could be one of the "lucky" ones that deals with these joys. Consider yourself warned.

1. Get used to the feeling of wet underwear. Because so much junk will pour out of your vagina, that you'll constantly feel as if you have wet your pants. The seemingly harmless vaginal discharge that we as women have become accustomed to, goes nutso when that pee stick turns pink. I sometimes have to change my underwear four times a day. Use of pantyliners does help with the so-called "snail trail," but be forewarned that later in pregnancy, this stuff will seep right through them. Grotty. Oh, and don't mention this to your husband, or he will refuse to have sex with you for fear of contaminating himself with it. True story.

2. Hemorrhoids will make their appearance BEFORE you push the baby out. If you thought the snail trail was gross enough, add to that the feeling of having something perpetually stuck between your ass cheeks. It's apparently due to the added weight and pressure your bundle of joy puts on your body that these little tidbits make their appearance. And sometimes they bleed when you poop- scaring the everlovingshit out of you when you wipe and see bright red blood.

3. Stretch marks will happen to you. And not always on your stomach. Sometimes, your boobs succomb to the terror of the stretchie. And let's not pretend that this only happens to women that experience a huge growth in cup size... not so. For me, my stomach has been spared (at least for the time being) but my poor boobies will never be the same. It looks as if an angry cougar gave leftie a nice swipe and left some pretty purple stripes in its wake. I have a feeling that super low-cut tops will not be making a comeback in my wardrobe.

4. You cannot control your farts. If your sweet, unassuming husband still operates under the assumption that his perfect wife doesn't pass gas or even use the bathroom like a normal person, his world is about to get rocked. I still remember the first time that I sat on the couch and let one rip in front of Trevor. The look on his face was absolutely priceless. I didn't even have time to be embarrassed because the sheer horror on his face made me cackle like a crazy person. Sometimes you'll feel them coming on, and sometimes you won't, but rest assured that they will come. And they will make noise. Just hope that when this situation happens, the dog is nearby to accept the blame.

5. You will lose your mind. The whole thing. The littlest things will send you into a complete uproar. How dare you husband leave his shoes on the floor of the dining room?!!! (Next to your own shoes, mind you, but you'll ignore that in the moment.) Cue the emotional breakdown. You will run the gamet of emotions starting with being furious, then feeling betrayed, then getting upset, then being completely inconsolable and crying your eyes out for two hours. Over nothing. If you have a good husband, they will do what you say and then hug you while you cry about them being a total douchebag (even though they're not... they're just boys). Expect one of these breakdowns at least once a day, and if you're lucky like me, three or more.

So there it is, round 1 of the truths of pregnancy. Now you can't say that no one told you about this stuff! Hopefully it doesn't give you nightmares. :)

35/35!!

Well, it's here. The big 35/35! I am officially 35 weeks today with only 35 days until my due date. Of course, we'll see if Knox actually makes it to the due date (personally, I think he will not). It's really surreal to think that I only have one more week on bed rest, then it's okay for him to come whenever he wants to. I was actually born at 36 weeks, so it doesn't scare me nearly as badly to think of him coming then, even though I'd still prefer 37 weeks.

I feel like we are getting closer to having everything all done and ready for Knox's arrival. Trevor got the closet organizer all built this weekend, which helped a lot since I was able to put the rest of the little things away. I promise nursery pictures are coming soon, as soon as Trevor finishes all of his assembly projects! I think we'll put the car seat in this weekend (ahhhh!), just in case he does make an early arrival. I am getting more excited and more nervous at the same time, which is a weird feeling. I am getting the feeling that we're getting closer to his birthday (yes, I know we're getting closer each day, but I mean I'm getting the feeling that he will be here sooner rather than later). We shall see if my thoughts are correct soon enough, I guess!

Happy New Year!

We had a VERY low-key New Years Eve this year. We just laid around and watched "Lost" (to which I am now addicted, thanks Trevor) then watched the ball drop at 12 and toasted with sparkling white grape juice. Despite the fact that Trevor thinks New Years is "stupid," he played along (mostly) and we had a good night. I couldn't help thinking back to last year, and the contrast is huge. I rang in 2009 by crying my eyes out because I wanted to be pregnant so badly. My period waited until that evening to start, and the false hope had seriously gotten to me. I thought I would never get pregnant, and yet, one year later, I am hugely pregnant with our amazing little son. I can't think of a better way to start 2010 than being pregnant. We have been incredibly blessed, and I am grateful every single day!

Shockingly enough, we only have TEN more days on bed rest!! WOW! I can't believe that in ten days, I will be 36 weeks pregnant and actually allowed to have contractions and have this baby. I am still hoping Knox will hold out until 37 weeks. My doctor told me that if he is born shy of 37 weeks (even by a few hours) he will have to spend six mandatory hours in the special care nursery. I know that in the long run, that's not all that long, but to me, it seems like an eternity! I already don't want to give him up for even a moment, so I hope he makes it to 37 weeks so he can room-in with us the whole time. Trevor is getting SO excited. The hospital stay made things seem much more real to him, and now he is absolutely thrilled that we're so closed to delivery day. And you know, so am I!