Knox’s birth happened surprisingly fast. So, you guys know how it all started out with the bloody show on Friday night. After calling the doctor, she told me to monitor my contractions for about an hour and a half, and if they got more intense, we’d need to come into the hospital. So, I spent the next two hours walking around the house, straightening up, finishing laundry and sure enough, the contractions were getting more intense. They remained at about two to four minutes apart, just as they had been all day. I called back Dr. L and let her know, so she said to come on in. At this point, Trevor was practically bouncing off the walls with excitement. It was very surreal to be heading to the hospital, although at that point, we didn’t know if we’d been staying or coming right back.
We got to the hospital around 9:30 pm and were sent back to L&D Room 5. Our nurse came in, got me into a hospital gown and checked my cervix. I was “a good two.” I remember feeling disappointed that I hadn’t dilated more, I thought for sure with the bloody show I would have been at least three. The doctor was there seeing some other patients, so the nurse just left us alone. I was having some pretty good back labor at this point, though I could easily talk through them. Dr. L came in and talked to us, telling us that because I was pre-term at 36 weeks 4 days, she could not do anything to help with my labor until it was proven that I was in real labor on my own. That made good sense to me, so she pretty much just said to hang out in the room, keep laboring and she’d be back in an hour to check me and see if I was making progress.
The contractions slowly got stronger and I had to have Trevor apply some counterpressure and massage it for me. It was getting harder and harder to stay still, and I was definitely having to do some deep breathing and squatting to get through them. Luckily, at this point, we had not been officially admitted, so I had no I.V. and was munching on a Pop Tart and drinking water to my heart’s content. That worked out pretty well. Because yes, during labor, I did feel hungry! After an hour, Dr. L came back and checked me again, and I had dilated to 3. Progress!
At that point, it had been established I was in labor since my cervix was actively changing, so I went ahead and signed all the paperwork and got admitted. This was just after 1 am. They wanted to go ahead and do my IV, I went ahead and let them do the IV instead of just the hep lock because my contractions were getting stronger, and I wanted to have it just in case I changed my mind about the whole natural thing. I was trying to be practical and cover all my bases. Lying in bed, though, did make the back labor feel much worse and was so much harder to control. The most comfortable position to labor in was squatting with Trevor massaging my lower back. The back labor guys, I cannot even tell you, it really is horrible. My doctor told me straight up “Back labor… it’s the worst.” Every single contraction that came, all of the pain was concentrated on my lower back, and when you’re laying on your back, it’s kind of hard to get to the area to massage it. The comfort measures that helped me the most were the lower back massage, position change, and once I was in bed, a cold cloth on my face and ice chips.
As the contractions increased, so did the pain level. It does get to the point where you cannot talk during them, and you really have to get in the zone so that you can mentally get through them. By 2 am, I had reached 4 centimeters, 90% effaced and was still at zero station. At this point, the doctor said she’d like to break my water and could get me started on Pitocin. I okayed breaking the water but said no to Pitocin because I didn’t want to cause the baby undue stress with those artificially strong contractions when I didn’t need to. So, she broke my water, which does not hurt, you don’t feel it at all, but you feel this huge rush of warm, jucuzzi-temperature water gushing out all over the place. You will be not be dry for the rest of this process, just so you know. I asked just before they broke my water, “just in case, when would I be able to get an epidural?” They said I could have one whenever I wanted since I was already in very active labor.
This is where things started to really move.
I knew that breaking my water would increase the strength of the contractions significantly. What I did not realized, was that the increase would be instantaneous and beyond the realm of comprehension, pain-wise. Literally seconds after my water broke, my body was rocked with the most intense, horrific pain that I could even imagine. I still had the back labor, but it was at least 20 times worse, and I also felt the contractions in the front. It was AWFUL. Nothing I did stopped it. I tried to roll over, instinctively, to let Trevor massage my back, but found that I couldn’t move because that made it worse. All I got out to Trevor was “Help.” I sobbed. There was nothing I could do. None of the breathing techniques I learned, no amount of moving around, nothing. It was then that thoughts of a natural birth flew out of my head at lightening speed. And you know what? I don’t even feel bad about it. I am glad that I waited until after my water broke, because now I know what I was “missing” by getting an epidural. I had two of these horrific contractions before I said “I want the epidural right now.”
Bless that anesthesiologist. He got there in ten minutes and was prepping me for the epi at 2:10 am. They’re right when they say if you are worried about the epidural, you’re not in real labor. They could have sawed my head off at that point, and if it would have helped stop that pain, I would have been totally fine with it. The anesthesiologist was really good about pausing when I had a contraction, he wasn’t one of those jerks that made you deal with it while he stabbed you. I was having a contraction about every minute and a half at that point. He swabbed my back with cold iodine stuff, then inserted the numbing medication. They warn you it will burn, and it really was not bad. I said “Ow, ow” and that was it. Of course, all the while, Trevor is waiting outside like they made him, and I am hugging the nurse crying during each contraction. She was the best nurse ever, truly. After the numbing shot, I literally felt nothing he was doing back there. Not even a sensation of what he was doing. Then, he taped up my whole back. I felt a total of five contractions from the time my water broke until that marvelous epidural kicked in, so it happened really fast. I felt NOTHING. Let’s just say it was a picture perfect epidural, I have zero complaints.
Shortly after the epidural, the doula, Linda, showed up. I felt bad that I was kind of boring for her since I had the epidural, but she was really awesome. She brought me a popsicle because I was a little bit hungry, she got me ice, fixed my pillows and just made me feel really comfortable. She also wrote down every single detail of the birthing experience, which is how, five days later, I remember what time all of these things happened! At 4:10 am, the doctor checked me again and I was at 5 centimeters. She suggested that Trevor and I lay down and take a nap or just relax because it would be a long evening. Not quite. 
I woke up at 6:05 am, and Dr. L checked me again. She said “Oh wow. You just have a little anterior lip, and you’re at +2 station. We’re ready to push.” She pulled out her gloved hand, paused and said “You know what, let me just check that again because that’s crazy.” It was pretty unbelievable how fast I had progressed. Trevor and I were still bleary eyed from sleeping and it was a little hard to digest. I felt like it was a dream at that point as they took off the bottom of the bed and got the room ready for delivery. it was so surreal. Trevor’s face was like a deer in headlights, he could not believe what was happening. It all of a sudden felt really real. We were about to have a baby! I started to push at 6:40 am. The epidural, once again, was amazing. I felt nothing as I pushed, but during the first one, it became clear that it wasn’t going to take long. The doctor, nurse and doula were thrilled with my pushing, telling me what a great job I was doing. At this point, Trevor was comfortably up near my head and looking at me. He rubbed my head the whole time I pushed. He was truly awesome throughout the entire labor and delivery process.
After a few pushes, Dr. L said “This baby has a TON of hair!” She asked me if I wanted to see with a mirror, but I had started to get a little nauseated before pushing ( just nerves) so I said no. She asked Trevor and he looked a little green. She promised him that there was no blood or anything gross, just that you could see his head and hair. So, Trevor looked and was very excited. That was the dose of bravery he needed, I think. He never got down in there or anything but he was comfortable watching more from then on. They told me when to look down to see his head, but my belly was still too big to see over. At 7:08 am on January 16, after only 28 minutes of pushing, Knox Compton was born. I watched the doctor pull him out, and the second she put him on my stomach, crying, I was in love. I sobbed from the moment I saw him emerge, and I could barely see him through the tears. Trevor cried, too, at the sight of our son, and it was hands-down the best moment of my entire life. Trevor cut the cord and I held him, all bloody and goopy, and had never been happier. I kissed his little vernix-covered face and stared. He had a ton of hair, that was for sure, and he looked exactly like Trevor.
They carried him over the scale to weigh him, 7 pounds and 5 ounces. He was 20.5 inches long. Trevor got to hold him for the first time while they stitched up my second degree tear. I didn’t feel that, either, thankfully. The three of us cuddled together, enjoying the first moments of our family life. I can honestly say, that I would do it a million times over for him (even without any pain medication!). He is the most precious, amazing little person, and I fall more in love with him each second of the day. I thank God for blessing me with the precious gift of being his mother.
The doula and I (with my popsicle)
Prepping for delivery:
Knox being delivered by Dr. L:
Trevor cutting the cord:
Crying my eyes out the first time I saw him:
Big boy! 7lbs 4.7 oz
Trevor holding his son for the first time:
All that I need in the world:
