I am in the midst of yet another emotional breakdown. Pregnancy paranoia has certainly set in. Sometimes I really hate myself for not being able to relax. It's not that I am not trying to chill out and stop worrying, I literally cannot do it. One I vanquish one fear, another comes at me full force. This week, it's that something is wrong with Knox. Chromosomal issues, abnormalities, whatever, I have been totally panicked. Why? No reason at ALL. Every single test and ultrasound we have had has looked amazing and perfectly normal. I guess I just like to bombard this poor little baby with all of my stress hormones. I begged the doctor for an ultrasound today so I could be told everything is okay, but I was denied and offered Zoloft instead. I declined. I absolutely cannot allow myself to take medication for stress, even though I probably should. This practice says Zoloft is safe during pregnancy, but I have seen a few studies that say otherwise, I am not 100% okay with that idea. Instead, I am starting counseling next week in hopes for a "natural" way to calm down. I scheduled a facial for myself this afternoon, and I moved up the 4D ultrasound (December 7th!) which I will be attending sans husband since he doesn't want to do it. I hate that he won't be with me, but for my own sanity, I think I should do it! Baby Knox, I am so sorry that your Momma is a total freak.
And now, as promised, updated nursery pictures. The first is of a stool that my dear, wonderful friend "Aunt Lindsey" painted for Knox and brought over last night. She is incredibly talented and it matches his room perfectly! There are even tiny palm trees on the sides. Thanks Linny Boo (<-- just her drunken nickname, I'm J. Moo in case you wondered... ah the fun we used to have getting wasted on boxed wine, playing Super Nintendo and making up names for each other)!
Palm Tree decal, new chair (aka most comfy thing ever invented) and the curtains I am recycling in here because 1) they're cute and 2) they were very expensive. Enjoy!
Crib complete with mattress! Just add sheets and a baby! Don't worry, the blanket will be headed to the closet once Knox is here. :)
And a 29 Week Belly Pic for good measure:
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8 comments:
I LOVE your rocker! I sat in one at a store in NC and LOVED it, but haven't found another one since :(
And don't feel bad, I panic over everything too! I think it's just part of being a mom.
Thanks, Cate! It's called a Puff Scroll Rocker, and I bought it at www.goodnightnaturals.com because I couldn't find it in a "real" store, either!
Good to know that I am not alone in the panicking!
The nursery looks awesome and so do you!! I can't wait to see the rocker!
Holy crap, how are you 29 weeks already? I read your blog regularly, but somehow that didn't set in until I just read it haha. You look awesome, as does the nursery!
For stress releif I swear by acupuncture. It has saved me time and time again. And it totally doesn't hurt. There are some places that don't feel good, but nothing hurts.
Aww - I miss our Nintendo playing, wine drinking days, too J Moo!
You do look great!
I love the little stool....way cute!
Girl have really got to just ......chhhhhhiiiiillllll!!!!
Everytime you feel panic start to set in try deep relaxing breaths and force out the bad thoughts with positive ones! I swear it will help!
The next time you are worried about the abnormalities, just think how sweet his little face is going to be when you see it for the first time and how sweet he will smell after a bath and how he will melt your heart the first time he calls you mama.
There is no point in stressing yourself with things that are out of your control.
I will pray God will wash over you with a loving peace. That he will ease all your fears and concerns for a happy heathy baby boy!
Hugs your way!
Okay, you look amazing. You are a pregnant model. And HOW ARE YOU ALMOST 30 WEEKS OMG.
I have about 1000 mantras I can recommend for dealing with the anxiety. Talk to your therapist about cognitive behavioral therapy. Basically you rationalize your way through all your anxieties (i.e. argue with yourself about how you really have no basis for them). I spent my 1st tri worrying nonstop and now have been much more relaxed because the way I see it worrying doesn't change anything. I was on Zoloft for the first tri (it really isn't the end of the world if you decide to take it) but I went off. Worrying is a waste of time and energy. And when everything works out, you'll be bummed you wasted so much time worrying for nothing. I know these things are easier said than done. Try to enjoy everything you have going for you--never again will you be pregnant with your first baby. It's an amazing time. You have a LOT to be thankful for, and no reason to believe that will change. -Becky19
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