Can’t Take it Anymore.
Posted on | November 9, 2009 | 7 Comments
This stress is really starting to wear me down. I am constantly terrified that something is going to happen to this baby. These awful contractions will not go away, and they are WORSE when I am at home and over the weekend. During the days in the work week, I get maybe two or three all day until I get home, and they’ll start coming five or six an hour. Same thing on the weekend. Add to that stress, now I am getting cramping in my lower abdomen which moves around to my back. Sounds like preterm labor symptoms to me, at least that what’s every single book I own says. I mention this to the doctors and they act like it’s not a big deal. I have yet another call into them today. I know they hate me over there because I have called so many times over the past few weeks. I just feel like nothing gets accomplished. I get passed around from doctor to doctor and they all tell me nothing is wrong. This does not FEEL normal at all.
I just don’t know what happened. Everything was going so well and this pregnancy had been so smooth until I got sick and everything just went down hill. I don’t see how Knox can possibly be okay in there. He is constantly squeezed by contractions and doped up with medicine that I hate to take and makes me feel like I am having a freaking heart attack. If it makes me feel that way, surely it’s not good for him. I am at the end of my rope. I don’t know what to do and how to feel better. I cry at the drop of a hat and feel like a terrible mother that is causing harm to her baby already. I don’t know what I would do if something happened to him, and I am just so scared that something will go wrong.
Maybe this all irrational, but I am so scared and tired of all of this stress. I am so ready for February so I wouldn’t have to worry about preterm labor anymore. On top of all of this, my brother has the freaking swine flu. He got the shot and then got sick. I have not been around him since this happened, but my mom decided she needed to take a 22-year old to the doctor (think he could have gone by himself!) and has exposed herself to it. I work with my mom, so that’s not good. I can’t be around her for a couple days to be safe. It’s always great to be quarantined from your mother when you’re having an emotional breakdown. Can I just go back to bed today?
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7 Responses to “Can’t Take it Anymore.”
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November 9th, 2009 @ 3:43 pm
I'm SO sorry you're feeling so stressed. I understand the contant worrying that something is going to go wrong…that's how I feel every day. I think you should call your doctor until they can give you some valid reassurance…that's what they're there for. Don't worry about bugging them – that's why they get paid the big bucks! Hang in there.
November 9th, 2009 @ 3:55 pm
I know it's getting a little late, but is it possible to find a new practice? Some other moms in my yoga group have switched (some really late!), and are really thankful they did.
Your birth experience should be good. If you're not comfortable, see if there's anything you can change. You might get better and more personal attention from a midwife group – many of which deliver at hospitals. I don't know if this is an option for you, but it doesn't hurt to look!! Hugs!
November 9th, 2009 @ 4:47 pm
I know you think there is no way that he can be okay with all the pain you are going through, but rest in peace that he will be okay.
Having braxton hicks the entire pregnancy are no worse for the wear on your body or Knox than if you had morning sickness the entire 9 months. Every womans body is different and responds to being pregnant in a different way. You have to keep in mind that you are a very petite person and your cervix and uterus are streching by leaps and bounds everyday and yes, that will cause your body to cramp and contract.
I will continue to pray that you will have peace during this time.
November 9th, 2009 @ 5:29 pm
I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. A few weeks ago I had a week of stomach cramping and pain and even though I think it was just growing pains it totally freaked me out. Pregnancy is very stressful. I hope the doctors respond to you and soon. Thinking of you. Becky19
November 9th, 2009 @ 6:15 pm
bottom line- You know your body and your baby. If something is wrong, then maybe something is wrong and you need a doc that will entertain that. I know it is hard, but I think you need to switch. You are doing the best you can. Or maybe you just need to stay at work?
November 9th, 2009 @ 6:42 pm
I'm with you. I had them every 3 minutes the other night and the Drs don't give a crap. and I already have cervical changes! It's really obnoxious. Take it easy when you can… That's apparently all we can do!
November 9th, 2009 @ 7:04 pm
I accidentally posted from my other blog name, here is this one. I just wrote a post similar to yours!